IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

University education is the best way to get a good job

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is a well-known fact that
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 plays a significant role in getting a good
job
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, whether educational institutions are truly beneficial or not has become a rather hotly debated issue among people from every walk of
life
Use synonyms
. I genuinely believe that there are many positives to
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 in terms of securing a high-quality
job
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, a substantial number of students desire to have a good
job
Use synonyms
. It is an undeniable fact that nowadays a
university
Use synonyms
 diploma is regarded as a passport to a bright career.
This
Linking Words
 is because
fact
Add an article
the fact
show examples
 that
such
Linking Words
 students aim to have high-quality jobs that enable them to support themselves financially. Graduating from a reputable
university
Use synonyms
 brings new and lucrative
job
Use synonyms
 opportunities.
For example
Linking Words
, I graduated from Özyeğin
University
Use synonyms
, which is one of the top five universities in Turkey. Thanks to
this
Linking Words
, I started working at Fiba Bank, which is a partner of Özyeğin
University
Use synonyms
, as soon as I graduated. Another positive effect of
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 on getting a
job
Use synonyms
 is that people can expand their social network with ease. There is no doubt that teenagers have the opportunity to interact with new friends and communicate effectively during their
university
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, when it comes to successful school
life
Use synonyms
, the key factor is making new friends who come from different parts of the world in search of a better
life
Use synonyms
 and
education
Use synonyms
. Without a doubt, teenagers who actively communicate with international students are far more likely to learn cross-cultural relations with ease.
For instance
Linking Words
, when I was a
university
Use synonyms
 student, I had a lot of international friends, and these connections set the stage for my professional
life
Use synonyms
 in international companies.
To conclude
Linking Words
, there are a wide variety of reasons why a
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 has favourable impacts on securing a much-coveted
job
Use synonyms
 in terms of opportunities for a bright career and a broad social network. When all these above-mentioned factors are taken into consideration, it appears that if we want a good
job
Use synonyms
 with the best career prospects, young people should pursue a high-quality
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While your introduction presents the topic well, consider adding a clear thesis statement that explicitly outlines the main points you will discuss in your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to avoid repeating phrases like "the fact that" as it can affect the flow of your writing. Aim for more variety in your vocabulary to enhance readability.
task achievement
Try to provide a bit more specific evidence or statistics to support your claims regarding job prospects linked to university education. This will strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, with clear paragraphs that each focus on a specific point, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
The personal examples you included from your own experience make your essay relatable and provide effective support for your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: