IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

It is thought by some that it is better to live in a city while others believe that life is better in the countryside. Discuss both side and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that living in a town is better,
while
Linking Words
 others think that life in the countryside areas is preferable.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine both locations for living and give my own viewpoint on that.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, living in the town gives more conditions for improving one's work achievements. The city is known to give more opportunities
as well as
Linking Words
 flexibility in workplaces.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, recent studies have shown that those
people
Use synonyms
 who work in cities are more organized and have higher wages than rural workers.
For example
Linking Words
, research organized by Oxford University students found that employees in London have a strict dress code and earn at least 20% more than countryside employees.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the opinion that some say that living in rural areas is preferable has several benefits.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the short distances, natural products, and peaceful environment. In terms of ease of mentality, might be preferred by individuals. A recent study interviewed those
people
Use synonyms
 who migrated from cities to rural places and found that 80% of them got used to living in the countryside quickly and were confident that they had fewer problems than that time when they were in cities.
In addition
Linking Words
, research
also
Linking Words
 gives information that
people
Use synonyms
 in that area have healthier diets based on local products.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the village lifestyle provides relief to one's mind
as well as
Linking Words
 health and provides convenient conditions for living.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that living in the city can offer you opportunities for your working abilities and make you economically independent.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction could be clearer; try rephrasing to make the two opposing views and your opinion more distinct.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, and use topic sentences to signal what each paragraph will discuss.
Task Achievement
In the conclusion, consider summarizing the main points discussed in the body paragraphs to reinforce your opinion more effectively.
Task Achievement
Your use of specific studies and statistics adds credibility to your arguments and showcases a range of ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a logical flow, which helps the reader follow your argument.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: