Nowadays online shopping is rapidly replacing physical shopping in stores. What are the positives and negatives of this development, in your opinion? Give some relevant examples.

The development of technology has changed our lives and habits. The Population used to shop for their stuff physically,
however
, it has reformed and these days the citizens usually prefer online shopping and the popularity of
this
new
method
is increasing steadily. In my view,
this
new way has several benefits,
such
as convenience and the customers have a variety of options.
To begin
with, technology has reformed shopping habits and brought a significant number of opportunities to us and made us able to find the best item. If an individual searches for a specific item he/she will be able to observe a hundred suggestions and
this
is a good chance to find the best quality at the best price,
for example
, if we need an umbrella and search for its name, the searching engine will provide a large number of umbrellas and that person can choose easily and comparing those items ,and
finally
order the one that he/she interested in.
Additionally
,
this
new
method
has provided some chances for small markets either, the owners of those shops can simply introduce their products and sell their equipment without any real store place to show the real product physically,
as a result
,
this
way will reduce the final cost of items dramatically because the managers have not to consider the rent of the shop and extra cash for design.
On the other hand
, some people think online shopping is a challenging process and the customers cannot trust online stores, because the buyer thinks that the shop might steal their money,
also
they assume that the market will not send the exact product and will send the fake one,
nonetheless
, I do not agree with these believes,
due to
, most of the internet markets have a part in their website for commenting buyers and we can just reach for others idea,
moreover
, the government has provided some rules and
this
is a mark that any reliable shops have to have it in their website and whenever they avoid doing their responsibilities, the owners of those shops will be in a big difficulty and the authority will close their websites. In conclusion, in my view, the development of marketing
method
is beneficial because it has provided a large number of opportunities for all the citizens,
also
they can take advantage of
this
method
effortlessly,
in addition
, there might be some negative beliefs,
whereas
I do not agree,
also
the society has tackled them so the people can trust to
this
method
easily.
Submitted by soroushnorouzi0478 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a clear distinction between paragraphs, using one idea per paragraph to enhance readability.
Task Achievement
To further improve task achievement, try to incorporate a wider range of relevant examples and ensure a balanced discussion of positives and negatives.
Language Use
For a higher score, work on refining sentence structure and varying vocabulary to reduce repetition and enhance clarity.
Introduction
The introduction effectively sets up the essay topic, engagingly leading into the discussion.
Argumentation
Arguments for the benefits of online shopping are well-supported and clearly presented.
Conclusion
The conclusion successfully summarizes the main points, reinforcing your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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