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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people think that parents should teach children how to behave. Others think that school is the best place to learn this Discuss both views and give your opinion

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It is a contentious issue whether children should be taught how to behave by their
parents
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 or their teachers. Some believe it is the school's
responsibility
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,
while
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 others argue that schools are not the ideal place for
this
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both perspectives and explain why I believe that
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behavior
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behaviour
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 should primarily be learned from family members.
To begin
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 with, children spend a significant amount of time at school, which creates opportunities for learning social norms. It is often the first place where they explore their emotions and express them, sometimes through inappropriate
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behavior
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behaviour
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such
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 as shouting or swearing. Teachers,
therefore
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, have a
responsibility
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 to intervene and guide students on appropriate conduct.
However
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, I believe that their role should be to support and collaborate with
parents
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 rather than take full
responsibility
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 for a
child
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’s upbringing. Each parent has unique expectations for their
child
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's
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
, and educators should respect these individual approaches.
On the other hand
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, children primarily imitate their
parents
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'
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
.
For instance
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, if a father reacts aggressively to failure, the
child
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 is likely to adopt a similar response.
This
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 is why many argue that
parents
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 should take the lead in shaping their
child
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's
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
, as they understand the root causes of any issues. I strongly believe that home is the ideal environment for observing and guiding a
child
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’s habits effectively.
To conclude
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, there is an ongoing debate about who should take
responsibility
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 for a
child
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's
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
.
While
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 some argue that teachers should play the leading role, I support the view that
parents
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 are best suited for
this
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 task, as they have the deepest understanding of their
child
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's needs and development.

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task achievement
Make sure to include specific examples or anecdotes to support your points. This can enhance both the clarity and impact of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the fluidity of your arguments within and between paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly states the topic and outlines your stance, setting a good foundation for the essay.
task achievement
The discussion on both views is balanced and addresses the question effectively, showcasing critical thinking.
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