Some people say that the experiences a child has before starting school have the most influence on their future life. Others say that experiences as a teenager, especially at school, are more influential. Discuss both views and give your own opinion?
In contemporary society,
experiences
are the main factor which improve people to be better. Therefore
, some people say that the experiences
before kids
start school have the most influence on their future life while
others believe that experiences
as a teenager are more influential. I strongly agree with this
idea that experiences
in youngsters are more affected. This
essay will explore my opinion which will be provided, and give a reason.
To begin
with, those who think that the most impacted experiences
to people are the experiences
in childhood. There is no denying that environments like families also
affect kids
; in other words
, when an offspring is born, they do not have any knowledge so they try to imitate the actions of their mother and father. For instance
, if parents gently behave their kids
, their child will grow to be a gentle person.
On the other hand
, advocates of this
proposition believe that the experiences
of teenagers are more influential. It is obvious that juveniles perceive and understand better than kids
; for
this
reason, the period of being a student dramatically affects them. For example
, individuals who do not pass the qualifications of universities are disappointed, but this
causes them to improve themselves in order not to fail in the future. Moreover
, schools provide many lessons for students so they can discover what they want to be through education.
In conclusion, while
some think that childhood has benefits for offspring, others argue that the teenage year has the most impact on the children's future and I agree with this
idea.Submitted by champperkhu on
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coherence cohesion
You need to ensure that the structure of your essay includes a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The introduction should present the topic and your main argument, each body paragraph should present a single clear idea with supporting details, and the conclusion should summarize the points made and restate your opinion. Your essay lacked a juxtaposition of the two viewpoints in each argumentative segment, and your conclusion was too brief without summarizing the key points discussed in the body.
task achievement
You are advised to address the task directly by discussing both views thoroughly and equally before providing your own opinion. Your essay should also conclude with a clear statement of your position. Ensure that your main ideas are developed with specific examples and details. In your essay, the support and examples for the views were limited, and your own opinion was not sufficiently explained or justified.
