IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

News stories on TV and in newspapers are very often accompanied by pictures. Some people say that these pictures are more effective than words. Whats your opinion about it?

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In the present world,
news
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 stories on television and in newspapers are usually presented with
pictures
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 and cartoons.
People
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 often say that picture presentations are more attractive and effective than words.
This
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 essay agrees with
this
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 statement because
pictures
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 are attractive and they more efficiently transfer the meaning of
news
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 to the public. On the one hand, the main reason behind the visual presentation of
news
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 is that it is attractive.
People
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 often follow things that are eye-catching, even when buying a dress or reading a book or newspaper.
For instance
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,
according to
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 a survey done in the UK, the best-selling book is a comic book.
Thus
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,
people
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 prefer to read books or newspapers that are presented in
pictures
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 or cartoons, and
this
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 is because they are becoming more popular among the public.
On the other hand
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, a second major factor supporting the effectiveness of
pictures
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 for transferring
news
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 is that they convey the exact meaning of the
news
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.
For example
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, there are many
news
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 companies
such
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 as BBC
News
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, where the
news
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 mostly accompanied by English letters that not all
people
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 can read.
Thus
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, presenting the
news
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 with
pictures
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 helps
people
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 to understand the main idea behind the article.
Moreover
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, in some cases, reading words can be monotonous;
thus
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,
pictures
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 may help to entertain and help
understanding
Wrong verb form
understand
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 the main idea without completely reading. In conclusion,
news
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 on television and in newspapers or magazines usually comes with
pictures
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, which are more useful among the public for conveying the
news
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.
Therefore
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, nowadays, most media organizations use visual picture presentations to convey the
news
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.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion, which is great, but consider adding a brief overview of the main points you will discuss. This helps set up the reader's expectations.
task achievement
In the body paragraphs, while your ideas are interesting, they could benefit from more detailed explanations or examples to fully support your claims. This would make your argument more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is generally well-structured, but using more cohesive devices (like transitional phrases) would enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread for minor grammatical errors and improve the variety of your vocabulary to make it more engaging.
task achievement
The essay has a clear opinion and presents arguments effectively, which is crucial for task achievement.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples, like the comic book survey, adds credibility to your argument and engages the reader.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • convey
  • emotions
  • capture
  • attention
  • evoke
  • impact
  • context
  • detailed information
  • journalism
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