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Writing Samples
Band 6

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not well-managed. What are the advantages and disadvantaged of tourism in the modern world?

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There is no denying the fact that
tourism
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 can be a valuable source if it is regulated by the
governments
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government
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.
While
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 it is held belief that the
tourism
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 profit can be the main source of
income
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 in some nations.
This
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 essay will discuss both the advantages and the drawbacks of
this
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 concept
as well as
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 include my opinion.
To begin
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 with, relying on
tourism
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 to be considered the main source of a
country
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's
income
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 holds several benefits;
such
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 as spreading the
country
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's culture by increasing the number of visitors who are keen on exploring diverse cultures.
In addition
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, increasing the visitor rate could be beneficial for other sectors
such
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 as entertainment and industry, and that can be observed in Indonesia
for example
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; which experienced an economic refresh after enhancing and allocating a significant budget to the
tourism
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 sector;
although
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, it is considered a third-world
country
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.
On the other hand
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, exclusive the
income
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 of a
country
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 in one sector only involves some risks. To elaborate, it is a huge gamble to rely on one resource when you have a variety of resources you can utilize to avoid any future obstacles, but
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instead
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instead,
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 the government chooses only one particular resource.
Moreover
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,
tourism
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 requires various elements to succeed,
such
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 as good weather, security, and creative marketing ideas.
However
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, all these elements are complex and unacceptable to rely on.
For example
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, if a
country
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 considers its main
income
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 is
tourism
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, but all of a sudden there is an increase in the crime rate, tourists will avoid visiting
this
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country
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 for their own safety, which will
make
Verb problem
cause
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a
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apply
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severe damage to the economy of that
country
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 In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that
income
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 resources should be diverse in order to ensure financial security during unexpected future events.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines what the essay will discuss. However, consider making your thesis statement more explicit regarding your opinion on the advantages and disadvantages of tourism.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your body paragraphs have clear topic sentences to guide the reader. This will improve the logical flow of your argument.
task achievement
Try to provide examples that are more relevant or developed. For instance, instead of just mentioning Indonesia, you might explain how tourism has influenced particular industries or communities in greater detail.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to organize your ideas in a balanced manner, providing equal weight to both advantages and disadvantages. This will enhance the overall argument and coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages of tourism, which is commendable.
task achievement
The use of examples, such as Indonesia, shows you can draw from real-world situations to support your points, which enhances your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable tourism
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • hospitality industry
  • tourist influx
  • cultural commodification
  • ecological footprint
  • economic diversification
  • carrying capacity
  • cultural sensitivity
  • destination marketing
  • travel advisories
  • visitor management
  • impact assessment
  • tourism revenues
  • authentic experience
  • visitor satisfaction
  • conservation efforts
  • seasonal fluctuation
  • social sustainability
What to do next:
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