Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place

Some people claim that a positive

society

members

attitude

should be learned by their

parents

However

, others believe

this

issue is the responsibility of the

school

. One

school

of thought asserts that

children

should learn how to be better members of

society

by their

parents

. Because they can teach their attitudes to their

children

and they can guide them by their family methods which are acceptable with their culture.

For instance

, a family from a city in the south of my country tends to be introverted and

this

behavior affects their

attitude

society

Therefore

, it is possible, that a family has mistakes in teaching

society

attitude

to kids.

On the other hand

, other people opine that

children

should learn societal behaviour at

school

. Because they can learn the science of

society

from someone who has graduated in

this

field and teachers can analyze their students' behavior which is useful for understanding how each kid should learn a positive

society

attitude

For example

, a city like Tehran that have a diversity of families from all culture, should have a lesson related to societal behaviour in all the schools. To reach a unified

society

in the future. From my point of view, a

school

is a place that should teach

children

how to be good members of

society

Moreover

, schools should make a plan to educate

parents

, in the field of societal attitudes. So,

parents

can help their

children

with

this

important education.

To sum up

society

's behaviour is one of the most important issues in each country, that should be taught by specialists to all the

children

and we can get a better result if

parents

learn

this

subject and help their

children

’s education.

Submitted by sr.alizadeh9191 on Wed Dec 13 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion in your essay, focus on creating a logical flow of ideas with clear and purposeful paragraphing. Transition words and phrases can help connect your ideas more seamlessly. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph contains a central idea that is elaborated upon with supporting detail.

task achievement

For task achievement, aim to directly and comprehensively address the prompt by providing a balanced discussion that considers both sides of the argument. Include more relevant examples to support your points, and ensure that the examples are specific and directly linked to the main idea you are discussing. Your conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your position clearly, reinforcing the response to the task.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

284 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

good members of society
teach
parents
schools
responsibility
values
respect
empathy
responsibility
formal education
citizenship
ethics
social responsibility
lead by example
role models
conducive environment
extracurricular activities
community involvement
collaborate
holistic approach

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet?
The world wide web has become the greatest in being visited over the years. Some commentators argue that the quality of information given to people is damaging their perception of life. While others suggest that removing harmful websites makes it safer. I believe that the local authorities should remove only the worst negative information.
7
band
Band-9 Samples: In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
In contemporary society, a prevalent trend in marketing campaigns is the accentuation of a product’s novelty. This essay aims to explore the rationale behind this phenomenon and argues that it is largely a negative development.
5
band
some people argue that to make healthy foods like fruits and vegetables more affordable, they should be subsidised by the government. Others believe that it is better to tax unhealthy foods. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Subsidising of fruits and vegetables by government is propogated by few as they are healthy foods and others believe unhealthy should be taxed. In my opinion, there should be subsidy on nutritious food and tax on junk foods, as implementing a single solution to the obesity epidemic would not suffice.
6
band
You are working for a company. You need to take some time off work and want to adk your manager about this. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter • Explain why you want to take time off work • Give details of the amount of time you need • Suggest how your work could be covered while you are away
I am writing this letter to ask permission for 10 days. Because I am going to travel to Dubai with my family to celebrate my mother's birthday.
7.5
band
Nowadays many students choose to take a year off before going to university. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year, and give your own opinion about whether it is a good idea.
Nowadays, an increasing number of students prefer to take a year off after finishing high school. Some of them believe that they will gain useful experiences this way. In this essay, I would like to write about the advantages and disadvantages of this approach.

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet?

Band-9 Samples: In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

some people argue that to make healthy foods like fruits and vegetables more affordable, they should be subsidised by the government. Others believe that it is better to tax unhealthy foods. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays many students choose to take a year off before going to university. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of taking a gap year, and give your own opinion about whether it is a good idea.