People nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our lives generally more comfortable but traditional values & customs have been lost & this is a pity. To what extend do you agree.

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In today’s consumer-driven society, individuals work tirelessly to afford a more comfortable lifestyle.

While

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this

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has undeniably improved living standards, it has

also

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led to the gradual erosion of traditional values and customs. In my opinion,

although

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material progress brings undeniable benefits, the loss of cultural heritage is a significant drawback that should not be overlooked. On the one hand, financial prosperity allows people to enjoy a higher quality of life. With greater purchasing power, individuals can access better education, healthcare, and modern conveniences, which ultimately contribute to

overall

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well-being.

Furthermore

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, technological advancements and globalization have expanded opportunities, enabling people to connect across borders and experience diverse cultures. These developments have enriched lives in many ways, making daily routines more efficient and enjoyable.

However

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this

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shift towards materialism has

also

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led to the decline of traditional customs and values. In the past, strong family bonds and community engagement were at the core of many societies. Nowadays, people are often preoccupied with work and financial success, leaving little time for family gatherings, cultural traditions, and social interactions.

For instance

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, in many cultures, communal meals and storytelling used to be cherished customs, but they are now being replaced by fast food and digital entertainment.

Moreover

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, younger generations may prioritize career advancement and luxury over preserving their cultural identity, leading to a sense of detachment from their heritage. In conclusion,

while

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economic growth and material wealth have undeniably enhanced comfort and convenience, they have

also

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contributed to the diminishing importance of traditional values. To maintain a balance, it is crucial for individuals and societies to embrace progress without entirely neglecting their cultural roots. By doing so, we can enjoy modern advancements

while

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preserving the traditions that define our identities.

gonulsimge29Wed Feb 05 2025

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task achievement

Consider providing even more specific examples that illustrate the loss of traditional values in various cultures, which would strengthen your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Although your essay has good logical flow, using more varied linking words and phrases could enhance the overall coherence of your writing.

task achievement

The essay presents a clear position on the topic and addresses both sides of the argument effectively.

coherence and cohesion

Your structure is logical, with well-defined paragraphs, and your introduction and conclusion effectively encapsulate your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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People nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our lives generally more comfortable but traditional values & customs have been lost & this is a pity. To what extend do you agree.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should be encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders etc. to serve society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that books should be stopped in school and that videos, films and computers should be used instead. To what extent do you agree?

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Some people prefer to travel by car while others prefer to take the bicycle. Which of these do you prefer? What are the advantages and disadvantages of traveling by a car and a bicycle?

Some people believe that it is good to share as much as information as possible in scitientific research, business and academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.