Task Two In modern society, it is common for employees to work overseas and take their families with them. What are the advantages and disadvantages for employees and their families? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? You should write at least 250 words; You should spend around 40 minutes on this task.

In contemporary times, it has become a trend that people
work
exotic and take their families with them.
This
is indeed more likely to receive a better quality of life,
whereas
it may lead to local manpower decreasing.
However
, in
this
essay, I contend that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks in terms of improving the rural survival environment. On the one hand, working overseas can provide various offers for individuals, especially in high payment opportunities,
For instance
, TSMC is a semiconductor company, which consistently offers overseas
work
to enlarge its business.
Furthermore
,
this
company not only support higher wages when employees
work
abroad but
also
encourages them to take their families, thereby ensuring beneficial living quality.
Consequently
, it is unsurprising why employees are more willing to go abroad.
On the other hand
, with the
more
Correct word choice
greater
show examples
number of individuals working foreign, the local manpower may have a higher likelihood of being inadequate, particularly in some countryside.
For instance
, in certain of Taiwan's east regions, there had been insufficient
such
as educational resources, manpower on local infrastructures, and other fundamental items.
However
,
due to
current trends, these situations may become more deteriorated, causing to their development fall into a stagnate. From my perspective, I consider that owning sufficient financial resources and
then
improving some local problems may be a more advisable measure. Foreign
work
ensures that the public can receive more wages and mental contentment,
subsequently
repay their original cities, and radically address these areas' difficulties.
For instance
, people can share their abroad experience with students to invest funding to construct public transport, thereby enhancing the quality of life.
To sum up
,
while
working foreign may result in some disadvantages, particularly for some rural areas, I firmly believe that the advantages outweigh the detriments.
In addition
, people can utilize their resources, which come from overseas countries, to address these problems.
Submitted by daniellin0717 on

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coherence
Improve sentence structure and coherence between ideas. Ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support the main points. Make sure the examples are relevant and detailed enough to reinforce your arguments.
task achievement
Clarify certain phrases and terms to ensure the ideas are presented clearly and logically. Avoid ambiguous expressions.
coherence
Balance the discussion of advantages and disadvantages more evenly. Allocate similar lengths to both sides to enhance the essay's structure.
coherence
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing the topic effectively.
task achievement
The main points are discussed and supported by relevant examples, contributing to a comprehensive argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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