in some countries and increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There has been a rise in the amount of individuals who face health issues

due to

Linking Words

consuming an excess of fast food.

This

Linking Words

has led to a debate regarding the action of whether or not it is essential for governments to utilise a higher tax on

this

Linking Words

kind of nutrition.

Although

Linking Words

many scholars disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement, I,

on the other hand

Linking Words

, strongly agree.

Firstly

Linking Words

, fast foods contain a high degree of complexity in terms of the components involved in their contents which makes them unhealthy for consumers.

For example

Linking Words

, fast food chains add a certain amount of artificial flavouring so their products become more addictive.

Additionally

Linking Words

, the effects of these chemicals are largely unknown, making them highly dangerous for everyone who eats the products.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is important for governments to take action in order to discourage consumers from buying

such

Linking Words

goods. As

this

Linking Words

government intervention is successfully carried out, the population will naturally be

disincentive

Add an article

a disincentive

show examples

to invest in fast foods

due to

Linking Words

a leap in price leading to a healthier population over time.

Moreover

Linking Words

, convenience items contain an unhealthy amount of calories as they are high in sugar and saturated fat, which significantly contributes to an individual’s weight gain. Collectively, as more individuals buy prepacked snacks each year an array of negative costs is inevitably imminent.

For instance

Linking Words

, there may be a substantial soar in those diagnosed with diseases that are linked to a surplus in body mass

such

Linking Words

as obesity. By implementing higher taxes on a demerit good

such

Linking Words

as convenience cuisine, the government will help reduce the number of people fighting against these health problems.

Additionally

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

fiscal policy will help the government obtain more tax revenue which they can apply for other spending,

such

Linking Words

as healthcare and education, that benefit their citizens. In conclusion, I strongly believe that governments should release higher taxes on unhealthy meals as the benefits massively outweigh the drawbacks. Not only will

this

Linking Words

policy help the population adopt healthier diets, but the life expectancy of the government’s nation will surge enormously.

munvinder1265Thu Feb 06 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Consider providing a more thorough exploration of counterarguments to strengthen your position. While you've mentioned scholarly disagreement, more specific counterpoints and refutations could enhance your argument's depth.

task achievement

Try to further elaborate on the implications of increased taxes on fast food. This could involve discussing potential challenges, such as the economic impact on low-income families or the effectiveness of similar measures in other countries.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to link your ideas more explicitly using transition words. For example, phrases like 'Furthermore', 'In addition', or 'Consequently' can strengthen the flow of your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Your conclusion is strong, but reiterating the main points in a more concise manner can add clarity. Perhaps summarize the main benefits you've discussed to reinforce your argument effectively.

task achievement

The essay presents a clear stance on the issue, expressing a strong opinion about the need for government intervention through taxation.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-structured and effectively communicate your overall argument, making it easy for the reader to follow your main points.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

340 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Everybody should have a certain age to retire regardless of their occupation. At the age 65, body requires rest and relaxation. If an old person works at this phase of life, it will be detrimental for his health. Therefore, it is important to give body proper rest at this time. Moreover, older adults after the age 65 cannot be able to give their best performances, and therefore, they should be replaced with the young generation. It will be served as a balance in the job markets for the young adults, and young adults can easily enter the job markets, and employment problems also can be minimized. For example, the average age of retirement for people in the UK is 64, the young generation are happy with this because they can get place after their older counterparts get retired.
6.5
band
In many countries today, everyday necessities like food and petrol have become very expensive. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it?Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In many parts of the world, the prices of basic necessities such as food and oil have increased. There are several factors that cause this type of inflation, and new technologies and innovative ideas to change our current systems are feasible solutions for dealing with it.
5
band
Many people around the world use social media to keep in touch with other people and get new events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
All over the world, numerous individuals communicate and access information through social media. Despite this writer contending that its convenience and accessibility outweigh the drawback of health problems.
4.5
band
When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
According to a survey, people would live a life without working rather than working in the whole life. This author disapproves of it because working is a necessary activity of live and to bring our dream in real life.
4.5
band
Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to only be meant for adults. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes, and what solutions can be offered.
Recently, some diseases is started from children and can give negative effect on growing moments until adolescent, for example obesity that can be children like suffering. This essay will discuss about causes and solutions with two points consist of unhealthy food and education healthy life.

in some countries and increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

In many countries today, everyday necessities like food and petrol have become very expensive. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it?Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many people around the world use social media to keep in touch with other people and get new events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to only be meant for adults. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes, and what solutions can be offered.