IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Recently, the internet is being used to get information on various aspects and to buy Goods. What do you think about advantages and disadvantages of this phenomenon.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that the internet is widely utilized to buy commodities and accumulate data about different issues nowadays.
Although
Linking Words
 it comes with specific benefits in modern life, it may present us with some challenges. In my opinion, its benefits outweigh the demerits. When it comes to modernization, neglecting the positive role of online gadgets in all living aspects is not logical.
Firstly
Linking Words
, people can purchase everything they want with only one click without wasting a great deal of time.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 a report by FATA (Iranian Organization of Virtual Space Monitoring), the rate of digital marketing and selling has rocketed by approximately 100% after the pandemic COVID-19.
Moreover
Linking Words
, numerous websites and blogs have been developed to facilitate data collection. So, students are able to do research in the minimum time.
For example
Linking Words
, there are hundreds of scientific websites of geology and students can find an absolutely remote area like Chinese islands on the map.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it has some disadvantages that should be tackled in an effective way. First and foremost, the security of databases should be considered.
For instance
Linking Words
, one of the Iranian bank websites called Melli Bank was attacked by unknown hackers about 3 years ago and billions of dollars of individuals' deposits were stolen.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, some people may be addicted to
this
Linking Words
 virtual space.
As a result
Linking Words
, it is significant to make a balanced life and the time spent on the internet should be monitored especially among the young. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 modern tools
such
Linking Words
 as the Internet present many advantages and enhance the quality of living in buying, searching for information, and so on, it has its own potential demerits like the leak of data. Generally speaking,
this
Linking Words
 new human accomplishment has positively affected our lives.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Consider providing a more balanced view by expanding on the disadvantages or potential solutions to the challenges presented by the internet.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence, use more linking phrases to connect your ideas smoothly between paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Try to include more specific statistics or examples in your supporting points to strengthen your arguments further.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in readability.
Task Achievement
You provided relevant real-world examples that support your views, enhancing the clarity of your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • information overload
  • democratization of knowledge
  • informed decisions
  • convenience
  • efficiency
  • niche products
  • global marketplace
  • privacy concerns
  • security risks
  • personal information
  • misinformation
  • credible sources
  • untrustworthy
  • local businesses
  • economic challenges
  • e-commerce
  • transformative effect
What to do next:
Look at other essays: