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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about the ratio of income to spending (in dollars) by Americans by age range in 2013. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below gives information about the ratio of income to spending (in dollars) by Americans by age range in 2013. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
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The bar chart illustrates the changing patterns in
total
Change the article
a total
the total
show examples
 number of money
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
earned and used by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Americans in 2013
devided
Correct your spelling
divided
 into 7 age groups.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clearly seen that the income of Americans
usually
Add a missing verb
is usually
show examples
 higher than
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
expending
Correct your spelling
expenses
show examples
 except
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
 of
lower
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
25 and above 75.
In addition
Linking Words
, both the salary and the cost-living were increased when
people
Use synonyms
 grew up and
then
Linking Words
downed
Verb problem
decreased
show examples
 steadily after 54
years
Use synonyms
 old. Looking at the graph, it is immediately obvious that at 25
years
Use synonyms
 old and below, the income of American
people
Use synonyms
 registered at nearly 28000 dollars
then
Linking Words
 it increased significantly and
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 the highest number at almost 80000
USD
Use synonyms
 between 35 and 54
years
Use synonyms
 old. After that, the amount of income was declined rapidly and hit the lowest point at roughly 33000
USD
Use synonyms
 in
people
Use synonyms
 who more than 75
years
Use synonyms
 old. A similar pattern was seen in the expenditures
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
starting at 3000 dollars
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 25
years
Use synonyms
 old or below
then
Linking Words
 rosed into 55000 to 60000
USD
Use synonyms
 between 35 to 64
years
Use synonyms
 old before
downed
Add a missing verb
being downed
show examples
 to 33000
USD
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 75
years
Use synonyms
 old.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 was a huge GAP between the amount of money that Americans
people
Use synonyms
 earned and used in 2003 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
25 to 74
years
Use synonyms
 old
while
Linking Words
 it was quite similar
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the age of youngest
people
Use synonyms
 and oldest
people
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, years, usd with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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