These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Mobile
phones
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and the
internet
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have become very important in how
people
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communicate and form relationships. They bring many advantages, but
also
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some disadvantages. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both sides to decide if the benefits outweigh the problems. One big advantage is that mobile
phones
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and the
internet
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make it easy to stay in touch with friends and family.
People
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can send messages or make video calls anytime, no matter where they are.
This
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helps to keep relationships strong, especially for
people
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who live far apart. Social media platforms
also
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allow
people
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to meet new friends and share experiences. Another benefit is the ability to access information quickly.
People
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can learn new things, follow
news
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the news
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, and even study online.
This
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makes it easier to connect with others who have similar interests and stay informed about the world.
However
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, there are some disadvantages. Spending too much time on mobile
phones
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and the
internet
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can make
people
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feel lonely or isolated. Sometimes,
people
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use the
internet
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to avoid face-to-face interactions, which can harm relationships.
Also
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, there are concerns about online safety and privacy, as some
people
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may misuse information or spread harmful content. In conclusion,
while
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mobile
phones
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and the
internet
Use synonyms
have many advantages,
such
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as making communication easier and faster, they
also
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have drawbacks,
such
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as the risk of loneliness and privacy issues.
Overall
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, the benefits are greater, but it is important to use these tools wisely.

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples to support your claims, especially in the advantages and disadvantages sections. For instance, you could mention specific social media platforms or instances of online interactions.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph flows logically into the next. You could use transition phrases to improve the links between your main points and provide a clearer argument.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing advantages and disadvantages, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You effectively identified both sides of the argument, which is important for discussing the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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