it is better to learn the way people lived in the past through films and video records than written documents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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it is better to learn the way people lived in the past through films and video records than written documents. To what extent do you agree or disagree? It is better to learn information about individuals who lived in the past through movies and films than documentary materials. The essay will agree with the statement because it is more convenient, faster and easier to understand and eventually it will be finished by involving my own opinion.
To begin
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with, the method ,to educate historical people and the way they lived in their era , by watching video recordings is much more effective and faster .
That is
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to say, humans can learn information more quickly and easily .
For example
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, a young girl called Sude from Mahmutlar Anadolu Lisesi prepared for her history exam by spending time in front of the series The Wonderful Century , which is about Turkish history and imperialism, which was the main topic of their test.
As a result
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, she spent only 2 days
of
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learning all the details.
Moreover
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, it is much easier to get the data by watching. As there are a lot of pictures and characters it is more stayable in people's minds.
For instance
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, research conducted by scientist Mr Jacob has illustrated the percentage of society who remember the story only by pictures and videos but not by huge texts.
Additionally
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, it is hard to imagine and remember historical events. In conclusion, using social videos for education is faster and more effective than
firstly
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,finding
then
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reading dates. In my opinion, learning through films and movies can create an enjoyable and entertaining atmosphere, in which the person will be more likely to understand and learn.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position, but it would benefit from a more robust thesis statement that directly outlines your main arguments. Make sure to use varied vocabulary and sentence structures to elevate your writing.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a logical structure, but some points could be better linked to enhance the flow. Use linking words and phrases more explicitly to connect your ideas, which will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
Task Achievement
While your examples add value, consider providing additional detail or context to better illustrate your points. For instance, explaining why Sude found the series effective can strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your stance well and reinforces the benefits of learning through visual media. This adds clarity to your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • historical events
  • visual representation
  • immerse
  • bring to life
  • accuracy
  • bias
  • limited scope
  • perspective
  • incomplete
  • superficial
  • detailed
  • reliable
  • primary sources
  • firsthand accounts
  • critical analysis
  • interpretation
  • balance
  • comprehensive understanding
  • critical thinking skills
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