IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

People can eat a wide variety of food that can be grown in other areas. As a result, people eat more food produced in other regions than local food. Advantages outweigh disadvantages?

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it is argued that some
people
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 consume a variety of
food
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 that grows outside their region , which leads to consuming more
food
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that is
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 exported than domestic
food
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 . In my opinion , I believe that the drawbacks outweigh the benefits for several reasons.
To begin
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 with, there are many downsides of reliance on export
food
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 , one of them regarding the economy .
For instance
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 , In some parts of Africa,
people
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 tend to eat
food
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 produced from other regions , which affects negatively economic growth ,
as a result
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, lots of businesses like groceries are closed .
In addition
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,
food
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 consumption is one of the important factors that boost the economy ,
therefore
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 the government should be encouraging their nation to buy local
food
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 .
Moreover
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, another drawback it can cause health problems like
,
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apply
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 stomach and , brain issues .
For example
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 , there was a scientific study showed that the suitable and healthy
food
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 for local
people
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 is the
food
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 grown on their land ,because of the comical elements inside the
food
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 .
Nevertheless
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, individual awareness should be raised through advertising about potential risks that might happen . So If
people
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 excessively consume exported
food
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 it would lead to harm
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people's
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to people's
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 well-being .
To sum up
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 , it is beneficial to try or buy new kinds of
food
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 from different areas ,
however
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, there is a disadvantage that has to be into consideration
such
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 as health issues and economic crises,
therefore
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 , I believe that the disadvantage outweighs the advantages.

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coherence
Consider providing a clearer structure by using paragraphs more effectively. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
cohesion
Make sure to include a more robust conclusion that not only summarizes your points but also reinforces your opinion. This can make your essay feel more complete.
task achievement
You present clear arguments regarding the disadvantages of consuming exported food, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence
Your essay effectively introduces the topic and states your opinion, which is a strong start to your argumentation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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