Many people believe that music is just a form of entertainment, while others believe that music has a much larger impact on society today. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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We live in a world where

music

Use synonyms

is one of the most important things in our lives.

Therefore

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, it has a huge impact on every one of us. I will explain my point of view and my suggestions. Most of us think that

music

Use synonyms

is just entertainment, and it's everywhere. Having a band group or just simply attending a concert after a long day of work makes us feel better and relaxed.

Moreover

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, we take it for granted, and we never truly understand its meaning.

For instance

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, people think that if you join a

music

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group, it's just a hobby or a pastime. Learning a new musical instrument or listening to

music

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on the radio is just a normal thing, and we can't earn a lot through it.

On the other hand

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, to other people,

music

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is their life. The way they see it is part of them. It can give humans a lot of good health benefits.

For example

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according to

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research, listening to one song in a day can reduce the stress and anxiety of the person.

Furthermore

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, it can release the real emotion of an individual through melody; if they feel sad or happy, they can relate to the song.

Also

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, there are a lot of people who are talented when it comes to

music

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; a great singer, composers, and musicians are talented in

this

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genre. In conclusion, I believe

music

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is important. We live every day through sound. Sometimes, even in songs with different languages, we can still feel the emotion without knowing the words.

Besides

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, without it, the earth would be dull and unhappy to live in.

chesleykerserarellanoMon Feb 17 2025

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task achievement

Elaborate more on your suggestions and opinions to provide a clearer perspective on why you believe music has a larger impact on society. Consider providing more specific examples to reinforce your points.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the transition between the two views to enhance the flow of your essay. For example, you might want to explicitly connect how the belief that music is just entertainment might contrast with the deeper emotional impact it has.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to clarify your stance in the introduction more clearly. Delineating your own opinion from the beginning can help guide your reader throughout the essay.

task achievement

Your introduction effectively engages the reader by highlighting the significance of music in our lives.

coherence and cohesion

You provide a good balance between the two perspectives, presenting different views on music's role in society.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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