Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters ( such as food, clothes, and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decision about matter that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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Nowadays, the level of life is significantly increased and because of that
children
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have many more free choices on a daily base. Some people claim that by permitting youngsters to select their apparel, diet and entertainment we push them to become self-centred. Meanwhile, others believe that decision-making is a crucial soft skill which indispensable in everyday life. In
this
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essay, I will dwell on both points of view and provide my perspectives.
To begin
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with, goods for
Children
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is a huge multi-million business which uses all marketing traps to involve the maximum number of customers. It is undeniable that manipulating the undeveloped
children
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's psyche is much easier and allowing kids to purchase everything that would like can be a highly irrational decision.
Moreover
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, youngsters don't understand the value of money and uncontrollable expenditures can induce a misleading feeling of permissiveness.
For instance
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, sons and daughters who are indulged by their parents are more prone to a narcissistic type of personality
On the other hand
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, giving the choice from the cradle, parents encourage
children
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to become responsible for their decisions.
Besides
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, these kids illustrate more independence and willingness to lead in the future.
Thus
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, a developing decision-making skill is an excellent investment in the clear skies ahead.
However
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, adults should be careful in order not to overdo with permissiveness,
otherwise
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, it can provoke a deceptive outlook, where
children
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are depicted as the centre of the globe. Summing up, I tend to believe that parents have to let offspring make their own choices,
however
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, all these decisions should be reinforced by arguments. Youngsters have to realise the value of money and make the selection meticulously and mindfully.

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Task Achievement
Consider refining the thesis statement to clearly indicate your stance on the issue as it will help guide the reader's understanding of your perspective throughout the essay.
Coherence
Ensure that the introduction succinctly summarizes both sides of the argument before stating your opinion to provide a clearer overview.
Coherence
Try to develop clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to enhance the connection of main ideas and support the overall structure of your essay.
Task Achievement
Make sure to clarify your examples and provide more context to ensure they enhance your arguments effectively.
Coherence
You present a balanced view of both perspectives, which is an essential aspect of discussing controversial topics.
Task Achievement
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the importance of decision-making skills in childhood development, which is insightful.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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