IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

More and more business meetings and business training have taken place on the Internet. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, many companies prefer meeting and training on the
Internet
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 to face-to-face meetings. The benefits of using technology in business conferences and guiding employees to
work
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 online are much more than the drawbacks. One of the biggest advantages is that brings many conveniences for people so working online can create more
work
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 effectively. Bosses and employees don’t have to deal with traffic congestion, they just stay at home and open the meeting apps to communicate.
For example
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, one company in Shanghai, China changed the way of meeting on the
Internet
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. Because most workers did not feel stress anymore, the proceeds of the company rose significantly in 2 years.
Moreover
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, they will save a lot of time traveling from home to the
work
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 office and the saved time can be spent with their family.
Therefore
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, many families will have time to share housework and increase empathy with other family members.
In addition
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, operating conferences and guiding employees online improve air pollution issues. If the number of vehicles on the road decreases, toxic gas from traffic vehicles will emit less.
For instance
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, the air in the world had positive changes after many business corporations started working and discussing important information online during Covid 19.
Besides
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 a lot of advantages, working on the
Internet
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 can have some disadvantages for people. Some online meeting apps can get errors or be hacked during the conversation. In conclusion, organizing conferences and working on the
Internet
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 bring a lot of benefits than drawbacks for companies. People who
work
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 on the
Internet
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 should set up strong passwords to protect accounts from hackers.

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coherence and cohesion
Clarify the main points and ensure that each paragraph develops a specific idea in detail. Consider discussing both advantages and disadvantages in separate paragraphs for clearer structure.
task achievement
Ensure that each argument is strongly supported with examples. Expanding on points with additional details or statistics can strengthen the response further.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear position that favors online meetings, which is a good start for addressing the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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