Some people like to go to a live sporting event, while others prefer to stay at home and watch it on television. Which do you prefer? Discuss both views using personal examples.

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It is often argued that sporting events are more enjoyable at the venue,
while
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others
thinks
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think
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it is more comfortable watching it on a screen at
home
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. In my opinion, both acts can have completely different
experience
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experiences
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,
due to
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the environmental settings.
This
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essay will discuss various scenarios of the topic and demonstrate
viewpoint
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viewpoints
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with logical experience. On the one hand,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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of sports lovers favour watching their players live in action as near as possible.
This
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is because, when you watch a game from the stadium with thousands of fans, it can build a sense of togetherness.
For example
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, the FIFA
worldcup
Correct your spelling
World Cup
brings every football
fans
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fan
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together,
in
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on
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some
occsions
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occasions
many fly from their places to the
worldcup
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World Cup
hosting country to be part of
this
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celebration.
Therefore
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, may opt for
this
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unique atmosphere which cannot be replicated at
home
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.
On the other hand
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, some people enjoy watching their favourite game in a
cozy
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cosy
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ambience, rather than being in a huge crowd with blaring noises.
Moreover
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, many consider
this
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trend as a
hazzle
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hassle
, because of the financial expense. To illustrate, these days we can enjoy the games
real
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in real
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time
in
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on
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small
Add an article
the small
a small
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or big screen, via streaming apps like Kayo or NBC
sports
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Sports
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, with much lower expenses
otherwise
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.
To
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For
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all these reasons, a significant amount of people opt to watch sports from their
Use synonyms
home
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homes
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. In conclusion, many enjoy watching the game in
realtime
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real time
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from the arena,
whereas
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some opt for the cosy
home
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settings. The people who prefer live sporting events are
moreemotionally
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more emotionally
connected to the atmosphere,
while
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the others tend to prefer convenience and comfort.

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task achievement
Your introduction presents the topic but could be clearer in outlining the specific points you will discuss. Try to provide a stronger thesis statement that clearly indicates your opinion and the key points. Consider rephrasing the opening sentences for better clarity.
coherence and cohesion
The organization of your essay is generally good, but the transitions between ideas could be improved. Use linking words or phrases to guide the reader through your argument more fluidly. For instance, you could use 'Furthermore' or 'Additionally' to connect paragraphs more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences contain minor grammatical errors and typographical issues that affect clarity. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'others thinks' should be 'others think') and spelling (e.g., 'hazzle' should be 'hassle'). Make sure to proofread your work to catch these errors.
task achievement
You provided personal examples and experiences that enrich your discussion and illustrate your points well, which adds depth to your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • atmosphere
  • adrenaline
  • shared experience
  • convenience
  • camera angles
  • replays
  • emotional connection
  • unforgettable
  • commentary
  • expert analysis
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