In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?

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Im
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In
I'm
today’s professional
sports
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, it is increasingly common among
athletes
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to
use
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prohibited
substances
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to enhance their performance. I believe
this
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problem can be inferred from the competitive environment in
sports
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and the holes in
testing
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the testing
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system, though
this
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can be solved by improving the system
while
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also
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increasing penalties. Competitiveness in
sports
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makes it extremely difficult to reach the top. Since there are countless
of
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apply
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ambitious
athletes
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competing with each other for that spot, people often abuse drugs and
substances
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like
steriods
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steroids
to trigger their high-alert mechanism,
as well as
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increasing
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increase
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their strengths
overall
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.
This
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allows them to dominate the competition and win against stronger opponents. Another reason is
due to
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the ineffective
of
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apply
show examples
testing procedures. Bodybuilders,
for instance
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,
demonstrates
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demonstrate
show examples
it very clearly as most of the
athletes
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have an incredibly unnatural body. Yet, the tests found no evidence matching the
use
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of tren or
steriods
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steroids
. And with how easy it is to avoid the positive result, more and more people start taking those
substances
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.
However
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,
this
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can be viably solved by improving and investing in testing
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
. Not only does it stop people intending to
use
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those
substances
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, but
also
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able to expose the current well-known faces in the field. Another way is to apply stricter penalties. With
this
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method, it makes
athletes
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afraid of ruining their reputations and careers, which will create
hesistation
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hesitation
in those wanting to
use
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these banned
substances
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. In conclusion, competitiveness in
sports
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motivates
athletes
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to take banned
substances
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and
also
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from the deterioration in testing procedures.
Therefore
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, investing in improving
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
and stricter penalties
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
less cheating.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to illustrate your points, such as mentioning specific sports or high-profile cases of substance abuse.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your ideas flow logically from one to another. Using linking words and phrases will make your arguments clearer and more cohesive.
coherence and cohesion
Review your grammar, particularly subject-verb agreement and some word choices (e.g., 'the ineffective of testing procedures' should be 'the ineffectiveness of testing procedures').
task achievement
The introduction clearly presents the issue and your perspective on it.
task achievement
You have identified two main causes and two potential solutions, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs)
  • Doping
  • Anti-doping regulations
  • Detection methods
  • Ban substances
  • Ethical issues
  • Health risks
  • Fair play
  • Sportsmanship
  • Stakes
  • Pressure to succeed
  • Enforcement
  • Awareness programs
  • Testing frequency
  • Entourage
  • Science advancement
  • Financial gains
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