Today more people are opting for cosmetic surgeries, hair colouring and other cosmetics. Why is this the case? Do you think this development is positive or negative?

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Nowadays,

people

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are seeking several fashionable health treatments,

such

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as surgery with a focus on the

face

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, hair

coloring

Change the spelling

colouring

show examples

, and others. In

this

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essay, some reasons will be explained,

as well as

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my opinion about

this

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issue. First of all, any issue can be broadened easily, and

fashion

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is one of them that spread fast. Many TV series pivoted with various health acts as the main topic and resulted in a lot of

people

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, especially women, having

fashion

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surgery.

Furthermore

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, health technology has advanced significantly. There are a few tools that are cheap enough and can be used in any place, even in remote areas.

This

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causes

people

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to take action to improve their beauty in front of

people

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In addition

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, with the appearance of cheap and mobile tools and the numerous availability of clinical

fashion

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doctors, more aesthetic clinics are available and reach small cities. In my opinion, I would say

fashion

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treatments are a negative development.

First,

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people

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would think it is an easy way to improve their beauty. They would prefer to go to the aesthetic clinic to increase their level of beauty without doing natural things, like facial massage or sunbathing.

Besides

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that,

people

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wouldn't know what kind of beautiful naturally and in an extreme way, take dolls as their main focus. Several cases of

fashion

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surgery will result in

face

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-like a Barbie, like Michael Jackson did. Potentially, in the future, it would make the earth for robotic

face

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people

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Finally

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this

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fashion

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issue is good to keep their

face

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in a good way. But, to ensure the natural world, we should have the limitation that the treatment is only to make the

face

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without any

pimple

Fix the agreement mistake

pimples

show examples

aldobastianFri Feb 28 2025

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task achievement

The introduction clearly states the topic and outlines what will be discussed, but could benefit from a more engaging hook. Try to include a sentence that captures the reader's attention.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has some logical flow, but the organization of ideas could be clearer. Use more linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly.

task achievement

Some points made in the essay lack depth. Providing specific examples or studies to support claims about the increase in cosmetic surgeries and their impact would strengthen your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Consider rephrasing awkward sentences for clarity, especially in the concluding paragraph. The conclusion should summarize the key points clearly and reinforce your stance.

task achievement

You have identified key reasons for the popularity of cosmetic treatments, which is a good way to engage with the topic.

task achievement

Your personal opinion is clearly articulated, reflecting your stance on the issue.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

281 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Aesthetic enhancement
Cosmetic procedures
Youthful appearance
Social stigma
Celebrity endorsements
Self-esteem
Body image
Cultural norms
Consumer behavior
Psychological well-being
Ethical dilemmas
Media portrayal
Public perception
Non-invasive treatments
Invasive surgeries
Self-image
Plastic surgery
Social identity
Market trends
Personal grooming

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Today more people are opting for cosmetic surgeries, hair colouring and other cosmetics. Why is this the case? Do you think this development is positive or negative?

In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the Internet and smartphones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Plan A below shows a health centre in 2005. Plan B shows the same place in the present day.

Some people think children have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.