IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In the last decade, there has been a great increase in global air travel. What do you think are the reasons for this and do you think it is a good thing?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Due to
Linking Words
 the advancement in technology, travelling by aeroplane has become accessible to everyone for a convenient and comfortable journey.
Therefore
Linking Words
, most people like to commute by aircraft which has a negative impact on the environment, causing
air
Use synonyms
 pollution and disturbing the ecosystem.
This
Linking Words
 essay intends to elaborate on its causes and
also
Linking Words
 how it affects the atmosphere.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the whole world has become a globalised village, where individuals commute to another region that can be quite far from their nation with an
air
Use synonyms
 mode of transportation and spend less time to reach their destination. To be more specific, there are a
lot
Use synonyms
 of airlines available that provide tickets at a very affordable price to commuters which attracts them to
travel
Use synonyms
 by
air
Use synonyms
 rather than using other sources of transport
such
Linking Words
 as cars or ships.
Additionally
Linking Words
, Travelling by jet is
also
Linking Words
 far more comfortable because people get a
lot
Use synonyms
 of facilities during their journey which can be proper seating arrangements, a screen to watch any of their favourite shows and
also
Linking Words
 meals. That's the major reason, people often choose
air
Use synonyms
travel
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, there is no doubt,
travellers
Correct word choice
that travellers
show examples
 get a
lot
Use synonyms
 of benefits
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 facility but its adverse impact on our environment cannot be overlooked. Most likely all the aeroplanes or helicopters are run by using fossil
fuel
Fix the agreement mistake
fuels
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as petrol or diesel which emit harmful gases and become the major cause of
air
Use synonyms
 pollution.
Moreover
Linking Words
, relying on these natural resources is in great demand
due to
Linking Words
 that, there are high chance that these resources might not be available for future generations. Another worthwhile point to mention is that a
lot
Use synonyms
 of birds migrate from one region to another
due to
Linking Words
 the changing climatic conditions of their native region and face trouble because of these huge appliances in the sky, forcing them to change their pathway or feel threatened
due to
Linking Words
 their noise. In conclusion, global
air
Use synonyms
travel
Use synonyms
 is aa easiest way to move from one place to another without considering factors like conditions weather or food to carry. As, they get the roof to
travel
Use synonyms
, including luxurious amenities. Whilst, excessive usage of these planes, not only creates a predicament for the ecosystem but
also
Linking Words
 a threat to migrating birds especially
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 are counted as endangered species in today's scenario.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay addresses the task effectively by discussing the reasons for the increase in air travel and its implications. However, including a more in-depth discussion on personal opinions or alternative aspects of air travel might enhance the clarity of your viewpoint.
coherence and cohesion
While your essay has a logical structure, enhancing the flow between ideas with clearer linking phrases can help improve coherence. For example, transitioning smoother between paragraphs would make it easier to follow the argument.
task achievement
Providing more real-life examples or statistics regarding air travel and its environmental impact could strengthen your argument and make it more engaging for the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the context for the essay and is clear about the subjects being discussed.
task achievement
You present valid reasons for the popularity of air travel, showing an understanding of the topic and providing a balanced view of pros and cons.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic growth
  • Disposable income
  • Aviation technology
  • Efficient
  • Proliferation
  • Budget airlines
  • Globalization
  • Tourism
  • Social media
  • Promotional activities
  • Economic development
  • Cultural exchange
  • Environmental impact
  • Carbon emissions
  • Climate change
  • Over-tourism
  • Local resources
What to do next:
Look at other essays: