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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

According to
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 some
people
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, new technology has strengthened social connections;
however
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, others think that now we are more distant because of it. In my opinion, both these views are partially true and it really depends on how they are used. There are several reasons why it is believed that modern technology has brought
people
Use synonyms
 together. First of all, it is now possible to chat with
people
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 very far away. In
this
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 way, you can talk even with
people
Use synonyms
 in a different country or town.
For instance
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, workers that are abroad can keep in touch with their parents and friends, which was not possible just 50 years ago.
Moreover
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,
it is clear that
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 it's easier to meet new
people
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. In fact, dating apps allow you to discover new
people
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, make friends and even fall in love. A good example of
this
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 is represented by the couples that have met online.
However
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, there is no doubt that online social networks
also
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 have negative effects.
That is
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 why it is believed that they have driven us apart. Many
people
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 believe that the positive impact of them is just an illusion.
This
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 is because new communication technologies are addictive, and,
as a result
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, it is easy to spend a large amount of time on them.
For example
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, you can see quite often
people
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 at restaurants who look at their phone screens rather than talking.
To sum up
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, new technology has brought a huge impact on how social connections work. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 it is easier to make friends and talk with them even if they are on the other side of the world,
however
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, it is difficult to stop using them and talk with real
people
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. In my belief, their use should be balanced in order to be positive.

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task achievement
Your introduction provides a clear overview of the topic and presents both viewpoints, which is good. However, consider adding a more explicit thesis statement that clearly outlines your opinion on the matter.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is structured into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. However, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to improve the flow between your ideas.
task achievement
While you have given some relevant examples, adding more specific or varied examples could enhance your argument and make your points more persuasive. For instance, you could include statistics or studies showing the impact of technology on relationships.
task achievement
The essay effectively discusses both sides of the argument, showing a balanced view on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The use of paragraphing is clear, helping to separate your ideas effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • communicate
  • social media
  • virtual meetings
  • global community
  • isolation
  • distract
  • face-to-face interaction
  • personal connections
  • dependency
  • technology addiction
  • digital divide
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