IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Undeniably, living outside the home country brings varied implications to every immigrant. I believe that regardless of the host country, living and communicating in a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 presents social issues in different communities
along with
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 practical difficulties in professional life. First and foremost, talking in a
language
Use synonyms
 other than your mother tongue makes it challenging to express feelings and the deep meaning of your words.
Hence
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,
this
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 may lead to social isolation, difficulty in maintaining friendships and most importantly emotional relationships.
For instance
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, a study conducted on 100 single Asian men and women in France that 75% of them remained unmarried until the age of 40
due to
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language
Use synonyms
 barriers,
whereas
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this
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 rate is significantly lower in their homelands.
In addition
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 to the social issues of immigrants brought by local tongues, professional impediments and educational obstacles are other endeavours they come across.
Besides
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 the existing job shortage, many employers require
language
Use synonyms
 proficiency , especially for jobs interacting directly with people.
For example
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, statistics show that newcomers in Germany
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 were obliged to careers other than their professions until they learned the German
language
Use synonyms
 ,
therefore
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, annually, more than thousands of non-native doctors are now driving Uber or working in restaurants for a living. In conclusion, local
language
Use synonyms
 proficiency in the country of residency is mandatory for work and socialization.
otherwise
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, barriers to making new friendships and relationship bonds would make huge hassles. Limitation on job opportunities is another serious problem for those jobs
demand
Correct pronoun usage
that demand
show examples
 interaction with citizens like doctors, which makes the sacrifice a lot
while
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 their lives are more difficult.

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task achievement
Consider providing more detailed examples and elaboration on your ideas to enhance your arguments. This will strengthen your points and provide clarity to the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your essay flows logically from one point to the next, using appropriate transition phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
In your conclusion, try to reiterate your main points more succinctly and ensure that they reflect the extent of your agreement or disagreement with the statement.
task achievement
You have shown a clear understanding of the topic and presented relevant points regarding social and practical challenges faced by immigrants.
task achievement
Your use of specific statistics and studies adds credibility to your arguments, showing strong analytical skills.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • linguistic proficiency
  • cross-cultural communication
  • miscommunication
  • social integration
  • linguistic alienation
  • cultural dissonance
  • language acquisition
  • communication breakdown
  • interpreter services
  • language courses
  • bilingualism
  • multilingualism
  • language barrier
  • effective communication
  • cultural assimilation
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