You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem?
It is well known that nowadays juveniles, especially in developed countries like the USA, have issues with extra weight. The prime reasons are poor diet at school and a small number of outdoor activities. In my opinion, governments should spend more money on food at schools,
whereas
parents need to be role models for their children
.
Firstly
, presently a lot of educational facilities prefer to use fast food, such
as burgers and pizzas. Although
they are usually cheap, they have a bad impact on children
's health. This
type of diet is especially popular in the USA. Not only does it contain no good vitamins that are vital for minors, but also
contributes to the problem of obesity. Secondly
, children
now spend far less time outside than in the past, due to
gadgets and pandemics. Therefore
, they do not take part in active sports, like hide and seek. These games are important for the proper development of a juvenile.
However
, I believe that the public is still able to stop this
tendency. For instance
, officials can sponsor chefs that create modern menus. These diets should be both healthy and tasty, so minors would like to eat this
food without any arguments. For example
, in Ukraine a few years ago a renowned chef proposed a completely new menu. And presently it is used in almost all schools. But mothers and fathers also
ought to take part. They can become role models for their daughters and sons, doing more sports.
To conclude
, the problem of childhood obesity is caused by poor diets at schools and the overall
development of society. To address this
issue local authorities must increase funds, whilst parents must play bigger roles in their children
's lives.Submitted by leshchynser on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance logical flow by using a clearer paragraph structure. For example, explicitly dividing sections into paragraphs for causes and solutions might improve readability and logical coherence even further.
Task Achievement
Provide more detailed examples for the solutions proposed. For instance, explaining how parents can become role models in more practical terms might enhance the point made.
Task Achievement
You clearly address both aspects of the task: causes and solutions, delivering a complete response.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively presented, framing the essay well.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?