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Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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In recent years, homeschooling has gained popularity among
parents
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 in many countries as an alternative to traditional schooling.
While
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this
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 approach offers certain benefits, I believe that its disadvantages outweigh the advantages for several reasons. On the one hand, homeschooling provides notable advantages.
Firstly
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, it allows
parents
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 to design a customized curriculum tailored to their
children
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's strengths, interests, and learning pace.
For example
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, a child with a talent for mathematics can spend more time mastering advanced concepts, which may not always be possible in a conventional school setting.
Secondly
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, homeschooling enables
parents
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 to teach practical life skills and impart traditional values that are often overlooked in standard curricula.
Additionally
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, one-on-one instruction helps
children
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 understand lessons thoroughly, as
parents
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 can provide focused attention and immediate feedback, which is challenging in crowded classrooms.
Lastly
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, spending more time together strengthens family bonds, allowing
parents
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 to better understand their
children
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's needs and perspectives.
On the other hand
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, there are significant drawbacks to home-based education. One major issue is the financial strain it can impose on families. To dedicate time to homeschooling, at least one parent may need to give up their job, resulting in a loss of income.
Furthermore
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, homeschooling requires investment in educational materials, devices, and resources, which can be a burden for families with limited financial means.
Moreover
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, homeschooled
children
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 often miss out on social interactions and extracurricular activities available in traditional schools.
This
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 can hinder the development of essential soft skills
such
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 as teamwork and communication, which are crucial in the job market.
Lastly
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, not all
parents
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 have the expertise to teach every subject effectively.
For instance
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, a parent who excels in literature but struggles with mathematics may not be able to provide sufficient support, leading to gaps in the child's knowledge. In conclusion,
although
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 homeschooling offers flexibility and personalized education, I firmly believe that its disadvantages, including financial challenges, limited social interaction, and potential academic gaps, outweigh its benefits.
Parents
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 should carefully consider these factors before deciding on the best educational path for their
children
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, as the choice will have a lasting impact on their future prospects.

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task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages clearly. However, providing a more in-depth exploration of a few aspects could strengthen the argument. Consider elaborating on the counterarguments more thoroughly.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized with clear paragraphing and transitions, but adding more cohesive devices could help improve flow. Additionally, varied sentence structures can enhance readability.
task achievement
The essay effectively outlines both sides of the argument and presents a clear stance on the issue, illustrating good overall task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
The use of specific examples, such as the benefits of customized curricula and social interactions, enhances the arguments and supports the main points well.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • homeschooling
  • flexibility
  • individual learning style
  • family bonds
  • safer environment
  • bullying
  • peer pressure
  • educational resources
  • socialization
  • commitment
  • diverse viewpoints
  • narrow worldview
  • gaps in learning
  • community programs
  • educational travels
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