Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is true that ex-prisoners can become normal, productive members of society. I agree that allowing
such
people
to speak to
teenagers
about their experiences is the best way to discourage them from breaking the law.
Firstly
,
teenagers
are more likely to accept advice from someone who can speak from experience. Reformed offenders can tell young
people
about how they became involved in
crime
, what dangers are involved in a criminal lifestyle and what life in prison is really like. The vivid and perhaps shocking nature of these stories is likely to have a powerful impact on young
people
. Granted, one might argue that adolescents, who are still very impressionable, might idolize ex-criminals and try to imitate their crimes.
However
, after hearing about how much suffering they and their loved ones experienced when they were serving a prison term, as seen in cases where convicts are not allowed to visit their dying family members, I doubt that anyone would choose to go down the criminal path.
Secondly
, the alternatives to using reformed criminals to educate
teenagers
about
crime
would be much less effective. One option would be for police officers to visit schools and talk to young
people
.
This
could be useful in terms of informing teens about what happens to lawbreakers when they are caught, but young
people
are often reluctant to take advice from figures of authority. A second option would be for school teachers to speak to their students about
crime
, but I doubt that students would see teachers as credible sources of information about
this
topic.
Finally
,
although
educational films might be informative, there would be no opportunity for young
people
to interact and ask questions. In conclusion, those who have turned their lives around after serving a prison sentence are the best
people
to talk to
teenagers
about why they should not commit
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
.
Submitted by huyhungvtv on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To enhance logical structure, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central theme that is expanded upon comprehensively, with smooth transitions between points.
coherence cohesion
You have effectively included an introduction and a conclusion, which clearly establishes your stance on the issue and provides a summary of your main points.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more diverse examples and references. Consider including statistics, research findings, or a wider range of anecdotes to add depth to your argument.
task achievement
You have responded to the task effectively by presenting a clear argument and consistently maintaining your position throughout the essay, with a good attempt at extending and supporting ideas.
task achievement
Develop your ideas further to provide a more comprehensive response. Adding more detail can make your argument more persuasive and increase the depth of your essay.
task achievement
Use more relevant specific examples to support your claims. This can strengthen your argument and make your essay more engaging and convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • prisoners
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • consequences
  • insights
  • deterrent
  • guidance
  • support
  • role models
  • positive change
What to do next:
Look at other essays: