Some people think it is a good thing for senior managers to have much higher salaries than other workers in a company. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There are different views about allocating high salaries to senior
managers
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compared to other workers.
While
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some disagree with
this
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idea
due to
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payment inequality, I agree with
this
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strategy as it would promote competitiveness in the workplace and motivate
managers
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to enhance their involvement in teamwork. Senior
managers
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are mostly employees who have worked in a company for a long time. They are promoted by enhancing their skills and academic knowledge over the years.
Thus
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, representing a well-paid situation as they develop their professional status will positively impact junior staff members to take the same approach.
As a result
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, companies take advantage of highly motivated junior staff, who are competing for higher levels, and professional
managers
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who contribute to the company's development. From the management perspective,
managers
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are individuals who should cooperate with several groups or boards.
For instance
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, to launch an application, a senior manager should connect with designers, software developers, hardware engineers, and customer service groups, which
are addressing
Wrong verb form
address
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specific responsibilities to structure a well-known application ultimately. If they were not paid sufficiently, it would decline their motivation to deal with all of those challenges.
Subsequently
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, the company will face unorganized groups that will fail to cooperate properly. In conclusion, I agree with the idea of offering higher salaries to senior
managers
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as it fosters cooperation and a competitive atmosphere, both of which will be beneficial for companies.

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task achievement
Consider providing more concrete examples to strengthen your argument, particularly in the section discussing the benefits of higher salaries to motivate junior staff and improve their performance.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance the transitions between ideas and paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay. For instance, linking your points more explicitly could help guide the reader.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines your viewpoint and provides a good roadmap for the essay.
coherence and cohesion
You succinctly summarize your main arguments in the conclusion, reinforcing your stance effectively.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • justification
  • experience
  • responsibility
  • high-stakes decisions
  • motivation
  • incentive
  • wage disparity
  • morale
  • meritocracy
  • performance
  • contributions
  • company finances
  • employee development
  • research
  • expansion
  • alternative compensation structures
  • performance-based bonuses
  • profit sharing
  • dissatisfaction
  • retention
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