IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

everyone should stay in school untill the age of 18, considering the significance or the primary and secondary level education in a learner's life. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In today's world everything is depend on science and technology in the time of robot and machines having
knowledge
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 of these things is very important in
this
Linking Words
 essay I will discuss that studying in the
school
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 until
age
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 of 18 is either important or not and importance of middle
school
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 and high
school
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this
Linking Words
 will show that how
education
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 is important in a group of teenagers studying in
school
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 until teenage
age
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 is important because
education
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 helps younger student in many ways it does not only help to gain
knowledge
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 about science and technology but
also
Linking Words
 it helps to build several skills that helps them to be a good person in life
for instance
Linking Words
school
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 teaches us time management consistency in studying and dedication towards the work that you are pursuing in the future handling academic pressure is
also
Linking Words
 viable reason that younger people need to learn
however
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 in many countries primary
level
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 does not matter as much as secondary
level
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 because in the lower
level
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education
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 they don't learn any important lessons from
school
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. So secondary
level
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 is not very impactful in a student so I would argue that giving important
knowledge
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 from childhood is mandatory as in some countries like in India they do
however
Linking Words
 making specific in
age
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 is not something that I agree with because
knowledge
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 does not measure by
age
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 many people can be finished their studies before 18 and many people who started their studies late because of childhood they might not finish their study at the edge of 18 in conclusion secondary
education
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 make significant difference in the life and it prepares us for  our future.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction could be clearer by restating the specific question and outlining your main points. Consider refining it to clearly establish your position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs are logically structured. It's important to separate distinct ideas into separate paragraphs to enhance readability and coherence.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to support your arguments. This will help demonstrate the relevance of your points and improve your score.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and punctuation. Some sentences could be restructured for clarity and correctness, which would enhance coherence.
Task Achievement
You've shown an understanding of the importance of education and its impact on students' lives, which is a crucial point in your essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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