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Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries, people who are unemployed receive a sum of money each week in the form of a benefit, while some support this, other people believe that this money should not be given. Discuss both points of view and give your own point of view gp

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In many
countries
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, unemployed
individuals
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 receive financial
support
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 from the government in the form of weekly
benefits
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.
While
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 some argue that
this
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 assistance is necessary to help those in need, others believe it encourages dependency and places a financial burden on taxpayers.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives and present my own view on the matter. Supporters of
unemployment
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benefits
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 argue that they provide a vital safety net for those who have lost their jobs. Without financial assistance, many unemployed
individuals
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 might struggle to cover basic necessities
such
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 as food, rent, and healthcare.
For instance
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, in
countries
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 like Germany and Canada, government
support
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 helps people avoid poverty and homelessness
while
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 they search for new job opportunities.
Additionally
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,
unemployment
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benefits
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 enable job seekers to focus on finding suitable employment rather than being forced into low-paying or insecure jobs out of desperation.
This
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 system
also
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benefits
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 the economy, as financial aid ensures people continue to spend money on goods and services, preventing an economic slowdown.
On the other hand
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, critics argue that regular financial aid may reduce motivation to find work. Some
individuals
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 might choose to rely on government
support
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instead
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 of actively seeking employment.
For example
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, in some European
countries
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, long-term
unemployment
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 rates have increased
due to
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 generous
benefits
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.
Additionally
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, funding
unemployment
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 programs requires higher taxes, which places a financial strain on working citizens.
This
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 money could be better allocated to essential services
such
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 as education and healthcare, benefiting a larger portion of society. In my view,
unemployment
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benefits
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 are necessary but should come with strict conditions to prevent misuse. Governments should implement time limits and require recipients to participate in job training programs or prove they are actively seeking work. By balancing financial
support
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 with policies that encourage employment,
countries
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 can help
individuals
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 in need
while
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 avoiding economic disadvantages.

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Task Achievement
Consider adding more nuanced points in your arguments to showcase a deeper understanding of both perspectives. For example, you could discuss possible mental health impacts on unemployed individuals without benefits.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your transitions between paragraphs are smooth. You might add linking phrases to enhance flow between your ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction clearly outlines the essay's purpose and the two perspectives you intend to discuss. This sets a strong foundation for your argument.
Task Achievement
You provide relevant examples, such as references to Germany and Canada, which strengthen your arguments regarding the benefits of unemployment support and the potential drawbacks of dependence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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