IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people believe that because of modern technology, it is no longer necessary for people to learn handwriting skills, but others think that handwriting is still an important skill. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, technology
are
Change the verb form
is
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 developed. Many
people
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 use technology to help them
many
Change preposition
with many
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 things.
For example
Linking Words
, they use mobile
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phone
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phones
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 to communicate with other
people
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 or watch
movie
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movies
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 on TV. It
seen
Verb problem
seems
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 that many
people
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 will start to depend on technology. As seen in the title, it is no longer necessary for
people
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 to learn handwriting skills.
However
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,
i
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I
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 think handwriting is still an important skill. First of all, handwriting is very important in early childhood. It can train their hand fine motor.
Also
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,
This
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 can help our brain development. A newly published study in the journal Behavioral Neuroscience found that handwriting can promote brain activity and strengthen memory.
In addition
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, handwriting can help us stay away from the mobile
phone
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 screen. The mobile
phone
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 screen
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is harmful to our eyes.
Also
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, handwriting just
need
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needs
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 one paper and one pen. It can
write
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be written
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 everywhere. It
don't
Verb problem
isn't
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 like
mobile
Correct article usage
a mobile
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phone
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 will no power. In conclusion, handwriting
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 many benefits. In my opinion, handwriting is still an important skill.
Such
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 as,
train
Wrong verb form
training
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 our hand fine motor,
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
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 our brain development and
help
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
 us stay away from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mobile
phone
Use synonyms
screen
Fix the agreement mistake
screens
show examples
.

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task achievement
Ensure you have a clear introduction that states your opinion and outlines the main points of your essay. This will help the reader understand your position from the start.
coherence and cohesion
Try to structure your paragraphs more clearly. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea with supporting details and examples. Make sure each idea flows logically to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Look for grammatical accuracy. Instead of 'it seen that many people will start to depend on technology,' it should be 'it seems that many people are starting to depend on technology.' Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and word forms.
task achievement
You have made a valid argument that highlights the importance of handwriting in early childhood and its benefits for brain development.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your main points and reiterates your opinion, which is a good practice in essay writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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