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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should a learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In recent years , there has been a tremendous increase in the number of individuals questioning the
reasons
Use synonyms
 for learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 . On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, there are people that hold the
beleif
Correct your spelling
belief
 that learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country.
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 critics, including
myslef
Correct your spelling
myself
 hold the belief that these are not the only
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 to learn a new
language
Use synonyms
.
To begin
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 , there is an
arguement
Correct your spelling
argument
 to be made that many individuals learn a new
language
Use synonyms
 as a hobby or for the sake of
intrest
Correct your spelling
interest
.
For example
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, a
german
Capitalize word
German
show examples
 survey done in 2019 showed that 25% of the population learned
french
Capitalize word
French
show examples
 as a form of exercise and another 15%
due to
Linking Words
 a hobby.
For
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this
Linking Words
 reason , it is evident that there are many
reasons
Use synonyms
 to pursue a new
language
Use synonyms
 rather
that
Correct word choice
than
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 for the sake of business or travel.What is more, some parents pick up a new
language
Use synonyms
 for
thieir
Correct your spelling
their
 kids as a means to connect with their kids and teach them something new during their development years.
This
Linking Words
 being the case, it can be assumed that the general population has many goals to
fullfil
Correct your spelling
fulfil
 by educating themselves with foreign
language
Use synonyms
.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
 ,
it is clear that
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while
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 40% of
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
 learns
foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
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language
Use synonyms
 just to keep on the side ,
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 have
offical
Correct your spelling
official
reasons
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
 , there are many diplomats
are
Correct pronoun usage
who are
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 required to learn the
language
Use synonyms
 of the country they will be staying or visiting for the sake of international
reasons
Use synonyms
 .
Therefore
Linking Words
 ,
it is clear that
Linking Words
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of the world has serious
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 to learn a
language
Use synonyms
 as not being able to clearly communicate
witht
Correct your spelling
with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreign
officals
Correct your spelling
officials
 can lead to serious consequences.
furthermore
Linking Words
, other sectors
such
Linking Words
 as
medical
Replace the word
medicine
show examples
 and education have
also
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 seen an increase in bilingual and polyglot , nurses doctors and teachers have learned the importance of being able to effectively
cimmunicate
Correct your spelling
communicate
 with their patients and students respectively.With
this
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 in mind , it is evident that
it
Add a verb
it is
it was
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 important
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
for
officals
Correct your spelling
officials
 in various sectors to communicate clearly and to the point as any deviation can lead to dire situations.
To conclude
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 , it is
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my humble opinion that
while
Linking Words
 learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 is overwhelmingly for travel to or work in a foreign country , it cannot be overlooked that
that
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
these are not the only
reasons
Use synonyms
 why someone should
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
learn a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 and that we should actively strive to make sure that learning new alphabets and languages is encouraged.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and follow a logical sequence. Consider using linking phrases to guide the reader.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples and details to support your arguments. This will enhance the clarity and impact of your ideas.
grammar and accuracy
Pay attention to grammar and spelling, as small mistakes can affect the overall readability of your essay.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument well, which shows an understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is clear, with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, showcasing a good attempt at organization.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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