IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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The wonders of
indepandence
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independence
.The advantages and the disadvantages of studying
abrod
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abroad
; studying
abrod
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abroad
 has its pons and cons it depends on the
person
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, and it varies
according to
Linking Words
 the
person
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's state. Living alone; What is it like to be all by yourself? Well to some it can be a window
fora
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for
show examples
 new
exiting
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exciting
show examples
 experiments and for others it can be their living hell, you see people are not
that
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have that
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 one shared personality , every one is
uniqe
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unique
 and different in their own way ,
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and every
show examples
every one
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everyone
show examples
need
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needs
show examples
 their own lifestyle to thrive and be better we can not make all
individals
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individuals
 follow the same path, a
person
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 can thrive in a
self-independing
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self-independent
self-depending
enviroment
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environment
while
Linking Words
 other can not , some
pepole
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people
 see their whole life only with their families they can not live alone independently they might need more time with their families so they can stand up by their own. Studying abroad ;The Obstacles of
oversees
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overseas
show examples
 student. Studying abroad is not as easy as it sounds, it is a huge step to
a new doors
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a new door
new doors
show examples
, doors you never knew existed, a new
envirmont
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environment
 with a new culture, studying abroad, and by yourself is
hard
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a hard
show examples
exprince
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experience
, you have to count every
singel
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single
 advantages and
diadvantges
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disadvantages
 you will come across, it can be tough if you are close-minded
person
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, and it can be a world of wonders If a
person
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 that loves to engage with things out of your comfort zoon; so it really depends on the
person
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 desires of engaging in new experiences. In conclusion, living away from your family has its benefits and its obstacles it hits
different
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differently
show examples
 from
person
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 to
person
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.

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task achievement
Your introduction could be more explicit about the benefits and disadvantages of studying abroad, which would set a clearer direction for your essay.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your points, as this will strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay, helping your reader follow your ideas more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Revise your conclusion to summarize the main points more clearly, reiterating your view on the topic.
task achievement
You have highlighted a range of perspectives on living away from home, which adds depth to your discussion.
task achievement
Your essay captures the complexity of individual experiences when studying abroad, which is an important consideration.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
What to do next:
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