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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Caring for children is probably the most important thing of the society. it is suggested that all mothers and fathers should be required to take childcare training courses. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Raising
children
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 is undoubtedly one of the most crucial responsibilities in society. Some argue that all
parents
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 should be required to take childcare training
courses
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 to ensure they are well-prepared for
this
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 role.
While
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 I acknowledge that
such
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courses
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 can be beneficial, I disagree with making them mandatory, as effective parenting depends on various factors beyond formal training. On one hand, parenting
courses
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 can offer valuable guidance. Many new
parents
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, particularly first-time mothers and fathers, may lack
experience
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 in essential childcare skills
such
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 as feeding, managing emotions, and ensuring a child’s safety. Structured training programs could equip them with scientific knowledge about child development, nutrition, and emotional well-being, leading to healthier and more well-adjusted
children
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.
Moreover
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, these
courses
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 could help
parents
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 handle challenging situations,
such
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 as temper tantrums or sleep training, more effectively, reducing parental stress and improving the
overall
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 well-being of families.
On the other hand
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, making
such
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courses
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 compulsory is neither practical nor necessary.
Firstly
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, parenting is a deeply personal and cultural
experience
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, and not all families follow the same approach. What works for one family may not be suitable for another, as child-rearing practices vary significantly across cultures and traditions.
Secondly
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, many
parents
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 already learn through
experience
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, family support, and instinct rather than formal training. Forcing every mother and father to take a course would be unrealistic and could create unnecessary pressure, especially for
parents
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 who already have
experience
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 raising
children
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.
Additionally
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, implementing
such
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 a policy on a national scale would require substantial resources, including funding, qualified trainers, and standardized curricula.
Instead
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 of mandating these
courses
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, governments could offer free or subsidized parenting programs, encouraging participation without imposing legal obligations.
This
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 approach would allow
parents
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 who genuinely need guidance to access support
while
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 respecting the autonomy of those who prefer to rely on personal
experience
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. In
onclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
While
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 parenting
courses
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 can provide valuable knowledge and support, I disagree with making them compulsory for all
parents
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.
Instead
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, a more effective solution would be to offer optional, accessible programs for those who seek guidance
while
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 allowing families the freedom to raise
children
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 in ways that align with their values and circumstances.

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples or anecdotes to strengthen your arguments and illustrate your points more vividly.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs transition smoothly to improve the overall flow of your essay.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance on the issue.
task achievement
You effectively address both sides of the argument, demonstrating a balanced perspective.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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