IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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A group of individuals have an
opinion
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 that teenagers must have a full education time until they by adults. In my view, I do not altogether agree with the idea we should put space for the student to see and explore the world and get experience in
life
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 as well we have to encourage them to try non-school activities. In
this
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 essay, I am going to discuss my
opinion
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 and draw my personal conclusion. There are many reasons to support the idea of not having
full
Correct article usage
a full
show examples
life
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 of education and a crowded schedule of learning classes. In my
opinion
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, a balanced
life
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 for the student is the best undoubtedly.
Firstly
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, countless skills can not be taught in schools
such
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 as communication, trade, negotiation, etc.
Secondly
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, the new generations should be Intellectuals and have a good knowledge of other countries and nations' cultures.
Finally
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. the young should enjoy having free time for relaxation and entertainment activities and journeys. Having a logical studying period and enough holidays is important for every member of society. Sciences only can be taught in schools.
Therefore
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, we should arrange a wealthy studying timetable for the teenagers
as well as
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 it is important to make sure that the students have a relaxing weekend. institutions are extremely important to young people because It is building a highly educated and conscious generation. In conclusion, we should require an ordinary and balanced
life
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 between schools and
life
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 for the young. In my
opinion
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, the quality of education is important
as well as
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 the non-school activities.

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task response
Ensure to clarify your stance in the introduction more definitively. Instead of saying ‘I do not altogether agree,’ specify the extent of your agreement or disagreement immediately.
task response
Consider expanding your main points with more specific examples or evidence. For example, when discussing skills not taught in schools, provide examples of how these skills can be acquired outside the classroom.
coherence cohesion
Work on structuring each paragraph clearly with a main idea and supporting sentences. Each point should develop logically, transitioning smoothly from one to another.
coherence cohesion
Include linking words or phrases to improve the flow of your essay, making it easier for the reader to follow your argumentation.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is essential for coherence.
task response
Your thoughts on the importance of balancing education with life experience demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental cornerstone
  • literacy and numeracy
  • social inequalities
  • foundation of knowledge
  • social mobility
  • informed and engaged citizenry
  • democratic processes
  • youth crime rates
  • productive activities
  • vocational training
  • workforce
  • stifling individual talent
  • economic contribution
  • stress and mental health issues
  • unsuitable educational system
  • one-size-fits-all approach
  • diverse talents
  • career paths
  • formal academic education
  • financial strains
  • low-income countries
  • improving quality of education
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