These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
In the contemporary world, human interaction has significantly changed with the advent of cellular phones and networking. One can opine that
this
change has more pros than cons and the reasons are highlighted below.
To begin
with, one of the advantages of using modern communication
techniques is that they are always less time-consuming to convey the message. Phone calls can be in real-time, while
electronic mail or messages can be sent instantaneously. For example
, a phone call from America can reach Japan almost instantly. Thus
, this
development has improved the way we interact.
In addition
, the competition between service providers has resulted in curbing the cost of communication
which has permitted more wider circle of relationships between communities. The best example of this
is social media groups, where the location of each participant is scattered around the globe. So, our interactions have enhanced the culture through the sharing of values around the world. In such
a way, these technologies are advantageous to the people.
On the other hand
, this
has some demerits too. A man, who overindulges in communication
through the phone or the internet, can develop mental health problems. There are many scientific papers which say the same. One such
article has mentioned about suicidal tendencies and depression among cyber-addicted youths. Although
this
is an obvious disadvantage, the advantages are more to support their usage.
To conclude
, there are far more benefits than drawbacks to using mobile phones and the Internet for communication
. The disadvantages can be curtailed by adopting preventive measures.Submitted by krishnabalu1984 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
The essay does a good job of fully addressing the prompt. However, adding more specific examples and analyses would further strengthen your arguments.
task response
Try to avoid generic statements like 'scientific papers say the same' and instead reference specific studies or findings.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas to enhance the logical flow of the essay, as the essay occasionally feels fragmented.
introduction conclusion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
supported main points
The points made are relevant and contribute to a comprehensive answer to the question.
relevant specific examples
Your essay uses specific examples like phone calls from America to Japan, which help to clarify your points.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?