IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport.

The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2010 to travel to and from school using different modes of transport.
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The bar chart compares the
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 trips made by
yougsters
Replace the word
young people
show examples
 5-12 age in one country between 1990 and 2010
and use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
three different
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is readily that walking was the highest
trips
Correct quantifier usage
number of trips
show examples
, but it
are
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 replaced by car
passenger
Fix the agreement mistake
passengers
show examples
 and
also
Linking Words
 was the lowest at the beginning of the year.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, car
passenger
Fix the agreement mistake
passengers
show examples
 ranked the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 with just over 4
million
Use synonyms
 in 1990.
Then
Linking Words
 it rose significantly to approximately 11
million
Use synonyms
 in 2010,
while
Linking Words
 walking was the highest in 1990, but
this
Linking Words
 figure declined considerably to 6
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2010.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, cycling and walking and bus
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
similiar
Correct your spelling
similar
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
 in 1990. After that, it had a marked fall to 2
million
Use synonyms
 and about 3
million
Use synonyms
, respectively, in 2010.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
bus
Add an article
the bus
show examples
 had the largest number of trips and ranked with approximately 7
million
Use synonyms
 in 1990. Following
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that,
this
Linking Words
 number decreased
moderatly
Correct your spelling
moderately
 to about 5
million
Use synonyms
 in 2010.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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