IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is argued that
people
Use synonyms
 should
work
Use synonyms
 fewer days to enjoy longer weekends. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea for several reasons. In recent decades,
people
Use synonyms
 have become busier and spend most of their
time
Use synonyms
 working, which leads to various problems. I strongly believe
this
Linking Words
 issue must be addressed, and excessively long workweeks should end.
Firstly
Linking Words
, parents who
work
Use synonyms
 outside the home, especially mothers, often lack
time
Use synonyms
 to care for their children. Without enough attention and support, children may grow up feeling emotionally neglected.
Secondly
Linking Words
, overworking reduces the quality
time
Use synonyms
 individuals can spend with loved ones.
For example
Linking Words
, my cousin works a 9-to-5 job five days a week and frequently misses family gatherings because of his exhausting schedule. A better balance between
work
Use synonyms
 and free
time
Use synonyms
 would allow
people
Use synonyms
 to improve their lives in many ways. With longer weekends, individuals could explore new hobbies like Pilates or cycling, boosting their physical health and increasing their energy and productivity at
work
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, children benefit greatly from their parents’ presence and encouragement, which strengthens family bonds and promotes better mental health. In conclusion, I believe reducing workdays would benefit all members of society. A shorter workweek allows
people
Use synonyms
 to recharge, connect with family, and pursue personal growth, making it a necessary change in today’s fast-paced world. Key Improvements: Grammar/Spelling: Fixed errors ("bussier" → "busier," "long weekdays" → "long workweeks"). Coherence (CC): Added smoother transitions (
Firstly
Linking Words
,
Secondly
Linking Words
,
Moreover
Linking Words
) and removed repetitive phrasing. Task Response (TR): Strengthened examples (e.g., expanded mental health point) for deeper analysis.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion, which is good. You could make it a bit stronger by giving a brief overview of your main reasons.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words to connect your ideas even more smoothly, especially in the main body. This will help the reader follow your argument better.
task achievement
Make sure to provide specific examples for each point you make. A little more detail can make your arguments even stronger.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear opinion and well-structured paragraphs that support your argument effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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