In spite of advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

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The advancement in
agriculture
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but the society still has people facing insufficient
food
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problem.
This
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essay will explain why
this
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is because advanced
agriculture
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acquires a lot of money, it is hard for undeveloped
countries
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and
this
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can be solved by the United Nations to encourage developed
countries
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to provide
food
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support to undeveloped
countries
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. Nowadays, farming techniques become more mature and well-developed which can consistently produce more
products
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. In the past, vegetables and fruits were affected by weather conditions,
however
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,
agriculture
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scientist-designed
products
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will not be damaged by insects or poor environmental problems.
Due to
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this
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reason, the number of
products
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should be rapidly growth.
However
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,
agriculture
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development contains a lot of money, for those undeveloped
countries
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do not have
this
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resource
therefore
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, they are still facing insufficient
food
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issues.
For example
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, the North Korean government invests a lot of money in weapons rather than improving their residents' lives,
therefore
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, their citizens do not have enough
food
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to eat. A better way to solve
this
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problem can be solved by the United Nations (UN), the responsibility of the UN is to maintain equal and friendly relations among all
countries
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. The UN can encourage the developed
countries
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to give their
products
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to support those
countries
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that are facing insufficient
food
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problems.
For example
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, in Syria, their land was damaged by wars, there was no
food
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supply and they only relied on
food
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supported by other
countries
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. In conclusion, there are still people facing hunger problems because their
countries
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can not afford advanced agricultural techniques. And, it can be solved by the UN to provide
food
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to hungry people.

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task achievement
Consider refining your thesis statement to clearly express the two main points of your essay. This can help set the stage for your arguments more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow of your ideas by using more linking words and phrases to connect your points. This will enhance the clarity of your argument.
task achievement
While your examples show relevance, adding more specific details or statistics could strengthen your points, making them more impactful.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to illustrate your points, particularly regarding North Korea and Syria, showing an understanding of the issue.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively outline the topic and summarize your views, which is important for clear communication.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
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