The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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We live in an age when many of us are more aware
with
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of
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our
health
Use synonyms
because there is so
many
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much
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information from different
source
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sources
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that we can
found
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find
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easily about the
important
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importance
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of
maintain
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maintaining
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our
health
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. I strongly disagree with the idea that
standard
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the standard
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of
people
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’s
health
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in the future will decrease compared with the standard that already
exist
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exists
show examples
nowadays. It is true that
people
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are already educated about the
important
Replace the word
importance
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of
healthy
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a healthy
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lifestyle. Many parents compete to give the best nutrition for their children so they can grow up as
a
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apply
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healthy and smart
kid
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kids
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to have a life in
this
Linking Words
world.
For instance
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,
young
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the young
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generation got healthy food
such
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as organic vegetables with sufficient protein
by
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from
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their parents to protect them from any disease so that they will not
getting
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get
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sick.
Similarly
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,
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government
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the government
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also
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gives
a
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apply
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health
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insurance for poor
people
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so
citizen
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citizens
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with poverty can access public
health
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same
Correct word choice
apply
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with
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like
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others without
afraid
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being afraid
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that they
could not
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cannot
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afford to pay the bill.
Moreover
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,
hospital
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hospitals
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and
clinic
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clinics
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become more common everywhere
that
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and
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it
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they
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could
reachable by
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reach
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everyone who
need
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needs
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treatment
from
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for
show examples
any
health
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issues.
For example
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, when someone
already
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is already
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registered as
underprivileged
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an underprivileged
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people
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its
consequently
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they could use
government
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health
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facilities for free by showing their card membership given by the
government
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as part of
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government
Correct article usage
a government
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health
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program. With all the statements that
given
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are given
show examples
so
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apply
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we can conclude that in the future
people
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will have
higher
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a higher
show examples
standard in
health
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issues because since they were young
its
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it's
it is
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common
to
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for
show examples
them to have a healthy lifestyle.
Besides
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that,
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government
Add an article
the government
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always improve their role to give a better program which can provide convenience for their residents.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument against the statement, but it could benefit from more depth and complexity in your ideas. Consider elaborating on how various aspects of society contribute to better health standards in the future.
coherence and cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, and that there’s a clear connection between your points. Using linking words and phrases can help with this.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammatical accuracy and expression. Some phrases seem awkward or have minor errors that could be improved for clarity. For example, 'so many information' should be 'so much information'.
task achievement
The essay effectively communicates a stance and presents relevant points that support your view about the future of health standards.
task achievement
You have included examples that connect well with your arguments, showcasing your knowledge of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Standard of health
  • 2. Average
  • 3. Lower
  • 4. Future
  • 5. Aging population
  • 6. Chronic diseases
  • 7. Sedentary lifestyle
  • 8. Lack of exercise
  • 9. Poor dietary habits
  • 10. Environmental pollution
  • 11. Technological advancements
  • 12. Impact on health
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