. some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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While

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some believe that encouraging

children

Use synonyms

to compete with each other yields better results, others argue that teaching cooperation will lead them to become useful adults in the

future

Use synonyms

This

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essay discusses both viewpoints and the stronger role of the cooperative approach. Some people say that teaching

children

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a competitive mentality results better in forming their

future

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success.

This

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is because they get the motivation to reach a particular result better than others

hence

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they push themselves to their limits and perform better than before.

For instance

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, a high school in France started to hang students' weekly exam notes on a bulletin in a corridor. After a year all students were getting higher grades than before and all got accepted into the

highest ranked

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highest-ranked

show examples

colleges compared to other schools.

Additionally

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, teaching a competitive manner in young individuals trains their

brain

Fix the agreement mistake

brains

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to work more vigorously and

this

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prepares a more hard-working workforce for the

future

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. On the flip side, others argue that if the youth get educated towards a cooperative personality they will be more useful in some

future

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careers. Obviously, because many jobs are interconnected with each other.

For example

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, in the healthcare setting nurses, doctors and pharmacists work together to reach the desired patient care and

this

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collaborative manner should be nurtured from a young age to

get

Verb problem

show examples

successfull

Correct your spelling

successful

in the

future

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. In conclusion,

Although

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children

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with competitive thoughts perform more vigorously which leads to preparing a hard-working workforce in

future

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, I believe

children

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who are taught to be cooperative will bring about a more useful character in certain fields

such

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as healthcare settings and team sports ,

hence

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having cooperation skills is more vital ones to be learnt.

nargesamin0Fri Mar 14 2025

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task achievement

Consider providing a clearer thesis statement in the introduction that outlines your main argument more explicitly. This helps the reader understand your stance from the beginning.

coherence and cohesion

While the ideas are clear, aim for smoother transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of the essay. This can be achieved by using linking words more effectively.

task achievement

Make sure to elaborate on your examples a bit more to connect them back to your points clearly. For example, explain why the example of the French school demonstrates the benefits of competition.

coherence and cohesion

Good job on presenting both views clearly and developing your argument in a structured manner.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
compete
cooperate
useful
adults
skills
motivation
drive
resilience
failure
workplace
empathy
social skills
reduce
stress
pressure
balanced
approach
ideal

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. some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Your opinion

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some employers believe that job applicants’ social skills are more important than their academic qualifications. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Today more and more people wants things instantly( e.g goods, service, news). Why is this ? Is it positive or negative development ?

In many large cities, people have to spend hours driving in heavy traffic every day. What are the effects of this on society and the individual? What can be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.