Some people believe that the government should make laws regarding nutrition and healthy lifestyle, while others think that it is a matter of personal responsibility. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.
Some people think that nutrition and a healthy lifestyle should be ruled by the government,
while
others contradict this
opinion and believe that it is each individual responsibility. In my personal opinion, it is too risky to let each household determine their way of eating and exercising when the authority is powerful enough to increase the level of the public's physical well-being.
Citizens have the freedom to feed themselves anything based on their personal preferences. The variety of accessible foods can lead them to choose their lunches and dinners less mindful. Especially, affordable meals tend to be unhealthy in Indonesia. In turn, is it common to witness college students eating instant noodles that lack protein, fibres, and vitamins daily since they are cheap and always ready-stocked in every minimarket all over the country.
On the other hand
, the president and health ministry took the highest position when it came to making the regulations. The creation of laws regarding nourishing diets must be executed for better residents' fitness equality. Regulating union is the most capable stakeholder to bring positive impact distributively. They can control each accessible food resource in the country. For instance
, food filtering and quality check regulation for public markets can eliminate harmful meal consumption for a country's inhabitants.
In conclusion, formal authority is way more impactful and effective compared to merely relying on individual control over their lifestyle. The government must take real actions to develop the health of millions of people by creating several policies to actually bring changes in people's nutrients.Submitted by jelitasofiaz on
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task achievement
The introduction should provide a clearer outline of the forthcoming discussion. The opinion is stated, but it could be articulated with more precision.
task achievement
A more balanced discussion of both views is needed before stating a personal opinion. Ensure that both sides are explored equally and your argument builds naturally to your conclusion.
task achievement
Ideas should be developed more fully with a wider range of supporting details and examples. The examples provided, while relevant, lack depth and specificity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure paragraphs have clear central topics and use a range of linking mechanisms between sentences and paragraphs to strengthen coherence.
coherence cohesion
To improve cohesion, create smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Each paragraph should connect to the next with clear and logical progression.
coherence cohesion
Use cohesive devices appropriately. Be cautious about over-reliance on simple conjunctions, and try to use a variety of lexical phrases to express contrast, cause, and effect.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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