advertising are becoming more and more common in everyday life. Some people say that advertising have a positive impact on our lives. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

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Nowadays, advertisements have become an essential ingredient in people's daily lives, and many communities claim that the contribution of announcements significantly influences positivity among citizens. In my opinion,
this
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trend is completely advantageous.
This
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essay will
further
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elaborate on the positive impact of
this
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trend and
thus
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will lead to a logical conclusion. Analyzing the statement and explaining
further
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, the first and foremost reason behind
this
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is that multinational national companies promote their products by using various platforms, and those adverts often foster better understanding and knowledge about a specific product.
Whereas
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, the government and health authorities hire popular public figures to aware masses.
For example
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, recently Indian authorities hired superstar Amitabh Buchan to portray the advantages of the Polio and COVID-19 vaccine,
As a result
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,
this
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development not only fosters awareness but
also
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it easier for the ministry to circulate medicines. Probing ahead, one of the main underlying reasons stems from the fact that commercial is a platform to alleviate consumerization and
this
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outlet facilitates employment opportunities including, actors, editors and other supportive teams that receive decent income and improve individuals' financial condition. Categorically, discussing it can not be ignored that
such
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advert has a direct connection to a country's financial stability.
For example
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, the population of India is the hub of higher consumerization practices and announcement encourages the crowd to buy specific products, which ultimately harnesses money circulation and increases the notions of GDP. To recapitulate,
according to
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the arguments aforementioned, one reaches the conclusion that broadcast is part of the community's everyday routine and their benefits are indeed too great
such
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as
,
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apply
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helping to spread awareness, facilitating employment and harnessing the financial stability of the nation.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction clearly states your viewpoint, which is great. However, a more concise thesis statement could strengthen your argument. Make sure to clearly outline the main points you will discuss in the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
While your ideas are connected, some transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be made smoother to enhance the flow of your essay. Consider using linking words or phrases to guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.
Task Achievement
You present relevant examples, but make sure they are well integrated into your argument. Some sentences feel a bit rushed and could benefit from more explanation of how your examples relate directly to the points you are making.
Task Achievement
You have a strong stance in your argument and you consistently support your viewpoint throughout the essay. This clarity is an excellent aspect of your writing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your vocabulary is varied and you use some complex sentence structures effectively, which enriches your writing.
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