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Band 8

In some countries, people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their country. What are the reasons for this? How to change their views？

#countries #people #tourism #country #change #views？
Advances made in air travel have shrunk the world. With these, today, people from all walks of life can travel abroad;
however
, the rise of international tourism is greeted with dismay by many. In
this
 essay, I will present the reasons why some local people harbour unwelcoming attitudes towards foreign
tourists
 and put forward some solutions to
this
 issue. International
tourists
 are now criticised mainly
due to
 their contribution to environmental degradation. In many countries, many famous tourist destinations are now bearing the scars of vandalism committed by travellers arriving from outside. Other places of interest are
also
 gradually being turned into which are comparable to garbage dumps, despite all attempts to reduce the amount of waste by the local community.
In addition
 to
this
, many foreigners travel on a shoestring. In order to economise, many are willing to sleep on the streets in their tents, which mars the cityscape. What local authorities can
firstly
 do to change the behaviours of foreign
tourists
 is through education.
While
 advertising the beauty of an area, the media should
also
 strive to raise the awareness of prospective travellers about protecting it. The other method is to pass stricter regulations regarding littering
particularly
Add the comma(s)
, particularly
show examples
 in popular tourist places. The high effectiveness of fining litterbugs is clearly demonstrated in the example of Singapore, where one can no longer find trash in public places. To summarise, the inhospitable feeling that the local people have for international
tourists
 can be explained in many ways. I feel that
this
 issue can hardly be solved by a single wave of a magic wand – it takes a great deal of effort from both the locals and the foreigners.
Submitted by nhuquynhbn2004 on

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task response
The essay efficiently covers the main concerns of locals regarding international tourism and offers thoughtful solutions. However, expanding on the economic implications of tourism could provide more depth to your argument. For example, discussing how tourism can create jobs and boost local economies might balance the negative aspects you've highlighted.
coherence cohesion
Though the essay is structured coherently, using more linking phrases between paragraphs could further improve coherence. Phrases like 'Additionally', 'Moreover', and 'Furthermore' can help readers see how your ideas are connected.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets up the essay by presenting the issue clearly and indicating the structure of the essay.
logical structure
You have used a logical structure that makes it easy for the reader to follow your argument. Your points are clearly presented and supported with relevant examples, especially in the paragraph discussing environmental impacts.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • international tourism
  • bad thing
  • loss of cultural identity
  • environmental impact
  • economic imbalance
  • social issues
  • government control
  • lack of infrastructure
  • negative stereotypes
  • promote
  • sustainable tourism
  • raise awareness
  • cultural exchange programs
What to do next:
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