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Band 6.5

The table shows the number of people who took part in a national health survey between 2005 and 2009, answering questions about their sleeping habits. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table shows the number of people who took part in a national health survey between 2005 and 2009, answering questions about their sleeping habits. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table depicts
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
women
Use synonyms
 and
men
Use synonyms
 who join a survey about their sleeping habits over a period of five years. It is clear from the table that
women
Use synonyms
 were more
people
Use synonyms
 than
men
Use synonyms
 join to
this
Linking Words
 survey from 2005 to 2009. Only
2006
Change preposition
in 2006
show examples
,
men
Use synonyms
 participated
people
Use synonyms
 more than
women
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, more and more
people
Use synonyms
 joined
this
Linking Words
 survey In 2005, 8000
people
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join
Wrong verb form
joined
show examples
 the investigation about their sleeping habits, but only 2000 were
men
Use synonyms
, the other 6000 were
women
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. Next year
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 to 48000
people
Use synonyms
,
men
Use synonyms
 were 36000
people
Use synonyms
 overtook
women
Use synonyms
 were only 12000
people
Use synonyms
. In 2008,
women
Use synonyms
 rose sharply to 331000
people
Use synonyms
, but
men
Use synonyms
 were 31000
people
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. The table saw a
rise
Change the verb form
rising
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 trend,
people
Use synonyms
 in 2007 were 64000,
however
Linking Words
 ,
people
Use synonyms
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 dramatically about 362000
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
women
Use synonyms
 and
men
Use synonyms
, and next year grew from 362000 to 540000. Especially 2007 and 2009, these two years were the same number of
people
Use synonyms
each
Change preposition
for each
show examples
 gender, one was 32000 and another was 270000.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words women, men, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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