Young people today are better qualified than they were in the past. Some people argue that this is because competition for jobs is greater than it used to be. Others say that people only continue their education because the opportunities exist for them to do so. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.

#people #competition #jobs #education #opportunities #points

In the contemporary era, the

qualifications

of young

people

have witnessed a significant rise. The question of the root causes of

this

phenomenon resulting from readily accessible

education

or a competitive job market has become a matter of considerable debate.

This

essay will explore two viewpoints, and I believe that the availability of

education

plays a more crucial role in

this

trend. On the one hand, today’s job market is highly competitive. With globalisation and technological advancements, the demand for skilled and knowledgeable workers has increased significantly.

As a result

, young

people

strive to attain higher

qualifications

to distinguish themselves from their peers.

For instance

, many students pursue advanced degrees and professional certifications to enhance their employability.

This

fierce competition for desirable positions undoubtedly pushes individuals to invest more in their

education

On the other hand

, the expansion of educational

opportunities

has been crucial in improving young

people

qualifications

. Over the past few decades, the number of universities and vocational training institutes worldwide has significantly increased.

Additionally

, online

education

platforms have made learning more accessible and affordable. Scholarships, grants, and student loans have

also

enabled more individuals to pursue higher

education

. These

opportunities

have empowered young

people

to achieve higher

qualifications

, regardless of their economic backgrounds. From the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that

while

job market competition has influenced the pursuit of higher

qualifications

, the increased availability of educational

opportunities

has been the key factor in the improved

qualifications

of today's youth. By providing more

opportunities

for learning and development, society has enabled young

people

to acquire the skills and knowledge needed to succeed in the modern world.

Submitted by zora840810 on Thu Jul 18 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

You have effectively addressed both perspectives and provided a clear opinion, which is excellent. However, including more specific examples or evidence to support your points could enhance your argument.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is well-structured with a coherent flow of ideas. To improve further, consider making slightly clearer transitions between your points and elaborating a bit more on each viewpoint.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to frame your arguments in a cohesive manner.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of your essay is strong, with well-organized paragraphs and a clear delineation of each perspective.

task achievement

You have provided a balanced discussion of both viewpoints and effectively expressed your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
There are serious concerns about the sale and production of genetically modified food. Yet this is necessary if we are to meet the demands often increasing world population. Give your opinions on this.
As the world population rises, it is becoming more evident that unless we find ways of producing more food, we could be faced with a serious food crisis. It is often claimed that the only solution to this crisis is through genetically- modified food. Yet, in my opinion, there is no justification for developing farming methods that could harm human health and the environment.
6.5
band
More and more animal species are becoming extinct by human activities in land and sea. What are the reasons and solutions?
Nowadays, human activities pose a potential threat to many fauna on land and in the oceans. In this essay, I will outline some reasons for this phenomenon and propose solutions to address it.
7.5
band
Nowadays many people choose to be self-employee rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?
In contemporary society, entrepreneurship has emerged as the most sought-after occupation across various industries. A considerable number of individuals are opting for self-employment rather than conventional organizational roles, primarily driven by the desire for autonomy in their lives. This essay aims to explore the reasons behind this shift towards entrepreneurship, as well as the challenges associated with being self-employed.
5
band
Human activities have negative effects on plants and animals all over the world. Some people think it is too late to do something about it. Others think there is still some time to take actions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays, when our society is in the stage of rapid transformation, a tendency to increase the number of available activities can be seen and a lot of them are considered to be harmful. It is agreed ,that people make environment suffer from these and some of the negative impacts are irreparable,however, others claim that some measures can be taken to save nature. This essay,firstly,will discuss how people's actions can influence nature in an adverse way without hope to fix it,followed by an analysis of what solutions can be suggested,before coming to a reasoned conclusion.
5
band
Many cities are now turning parks and farmland into new housing developments
Human civilizations have been growing rapidly since the beginning of our era, resulting in the drastic decline of the greens in the cities due to the construction of the residential area. This led to a controversial issue debating on the topic of whether the conversion of green area to the housing area contributed to positive or negative impacts. However, after a thorough consideration, though there are some positive effects of the increase of habitat, the negative effects of this alteration of the area should not be put down by any chance.

Include an introduction and conclusion

There are serious concerns about the sale and production of genetically modified food. Yet this is necessary if we are to meet the demands often increasing world population. Give your opinions on this.

More and more animal species are becoming extinct by human activities in land and sea. What are the reasons and solutions?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employee rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Human activities have negative effects on plants and animals all over the world. Some people think it is too late to do something about it. Others think there is still some time to take actions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many cities are now turning parks and farmland into new housing developments