IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The population of the world is growing so the demand for food is rising. Using land to grow vegetables is more efficient and better for the environment than using it for animals to produce meat. To what extent do you agree it is better to use farmland to grow vegetables?

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There is a view that it would be more beneficial to use land for vegetable
production
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 rather than for farm animals in order to obtain
meat
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.
While
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 both options have several advantages, producing
vegetables
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 can help prevent health problems.
Vegetables
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 are important as they have several advantages. Examples include quick
production
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 and higher nutritional value, which make them more dominant compared to
meat
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production
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. Farmers do not have to wait a long time to produce some
vegetables
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.
For instance
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,
vegetables
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such
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 as radishes and spinach can be ready to harvest in only 30 days.
Furthermore
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, the amount of vitamins in vegetable composition is tremendously high, which is beneficial for people'shealth. Spinach contains vitamins
such
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 as C, K, and A, which can help normalize blood pressure and even prevent cancer.
Due to
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 these reasons, empty land should be used for vegetable farming. Using land for
meat
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production
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also
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 has benefits, as
meat
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 is the greatest source of
protein
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. The percentage of natural
protein
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 is highest in
meat
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 compared to any other product.
Moreover
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,
protein
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 is useful for people's health and for other purposes.
For example
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, it can help those who are participating in gym activities and want to gain weight, which is why it contains a full source of vitamins to gain muscular mass. In conclusion,
while
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 producing
vegetables
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 is a more time-saving process and can be helpful in staying healthy, animal farming
also
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 plays a crucial role in people's lives as it offers natural
protein
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.
However
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, growing
vegetables
Use synonyms
 is more advantageous as it helps prevent serious health diseases.

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task achievement
Consider providing a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to outline your stance on the issue more explicitly. This will help the reader understand your argument better from the start.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow between points in your paragraphs. Make sure that each paragraph leads smoothly into the next to enhance overall coherence.
task achievement
While mentioning the benefits of vegetables, you could further elaborate on how these benefits can outweigh those of meat production in terms of long-term sustainability and health impacts.
task achievement
Good use of specific examples to support your points, such as the quick growth of radishes and spinach, which enhances your argument regarding vegetable production.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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