IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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Most argued debate that some
people
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 believe advanced
technology
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 has brought
people
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 together,
while
Linking Words
 many think it has made them distant from one another.
Although
Linking Words
,
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apply
show examples
 the latest
technology
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 has a separate relationship, I think it has given easy access to reach one another.
To begin
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 with, there is a popular argument that smartphones and computers have driven humans apart.
People
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 are spending more
time
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 on social media rather than spending
time
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 with their family and friends. They try to explore the world through
technology
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,
while
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 they are unaware of the situation around them.
For example
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, a recent survey shows that
people
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 are spending more
time
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 on smartphones than eating food and communicating with their families.
Technology
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 has made
people
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 more lazy and demanding. Humans pretend that they are happy with their technical world, but they are not as spending less
time
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 with family causes stress and anxiety because they are not sharing their emotions with the family.
On the other hand
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,
technology
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 has shortened the distance for communication.
People
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 have easy access to social media, as they can talk to their family or friends through smartphones or computers.
People
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 can easily narrate their emotions through video calls.
Technology
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 has made human life way easier. In the past
people
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 had to wait long years to see their beloved
people
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's faces if they were living in different countries or different parts of the nation, but now their family is just one click away.
People
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 can check on other
people
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's lives through social media by checking their current stories, feeds and pictures.
To conclude
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, everything has pros and cons.
Technology
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 advancement and applications have made
people
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 less communal, but the positive side is that improvements allow humans to be informed about each other’s lives is a bigger achievement.

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. For example, mention particular social media platforms or technological advancements that have facilitated communication.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all sections of your essay are thoroughly linked for smoother transition and a cohesive flow. Consider using more linking phrases.
task achievement
The introduction clearly outlines the main point of the essay which is whether technology unites or divides people.
task achievement
The essay covers both perspectives, explaining how technology can both isolate and connect people.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion, considering the pros and cons of technology.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure with introduction, body paragraphs discussing both viewpoints, and a coherent conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fostering
  • Global connections
  • Isolation
  • Diminished
  • Face-to-face interactions
  • Cultural and geographical divides
  • Paradox
  • Social media
  • Alienating
  • Family dynamics
  • Echo chambers
  • Polarize
  • Marginalized communities
  • Inclusivity
  • Maintaining relationships
  • Evolution of communication
  • Instant messaging
  • Video calls
  • Technological advances
  • Collaboration
  • Remote isolation
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