In the last few decades there have been more and more cases of famous people being hounded by the press. Some people think that famous people in the media have no right to privacy. To what extent do you agree?

Historically, renowned
people
have been harassed by the media. Nowadays, some techniques have been applied in artists' lives in order to avoid being hounded by an intrusive paparazzi.
For
this
reason, many
people
argue that celebrities have not enjoyed their privacy. I personally agree with
this
statement, and in
this
essay, I explain the reasons. To start with, many superstars have been under pressure by the media owing to their popularity.
Besides
, cutting-edge technological tools have allowed worldwide access readily to personal information about famous
people
,
hence
hundreds of followers are knowledgeable about each specific detail.
However
, there have been negative impacts on celebrities' lifestyles and their development as normal human beings.
For instance
, Justin Bieber had his debut song "Baby" when he was a child,
although
reaching their acme very soon, he lost his childhood, even dealing with drug addiction.
Additionally
, well-known
people
do not have the possibility to spend quality time with their families, mainly because they have to hide themselves and their personal information from the press.
For instance
, Cristiano Ronaldo has argued that some leisure activities
such
as walking around a local park or having a date in a traditional restaurant have not been carried out for many years,
hence
many fans want to leverage the opportunity and take photos
as well as
the press records every scene.
To sum up
, celebrities have sacrificed their privacy because of their careers. Once they start their professions, they have to be aware that most of the time cameras and news will focus on their lives, thoughts, and feelings.
Then
, some restrictions should be created in order to guarantee their privacy.
Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on

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Task Response
Remember to provide a balance in your argument by presenting contrasting views, even when you have a strong position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to better link your ideas throughout the essay. This could include synonyms, pronouns, and conjunctions to ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs.
Language
To improve your score further, consider exploring a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and avoid repetition.
Task Achievement
Good use of specific examples to support your argument, such as Justin Bieber and Cristiano Ronaldo.
Coherence and Cohesion
Effective introduction and conclusion that clearly express your viewpoint and summarize the main points of your essay.
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